Love doesn’t have to be complicated

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Maybe you (like me) are feeling tired of the way the focus on love feels commercialized, manipulative and superficial in our culture.

Perhaps you are cynical about love, or feel it is missing or lacking in your life, or you doubt its importance.

Perhaps you crave more love, in any of the ways it can touch your heart.

What if you simply let yourself feel love?

We spend so much time living in our heads.

It’s when we choose not to think so much and drop into our hearts and our bodies, that we have the opportunity to get to the pure essence of love, and experience it in ways that fill us with delight.

Try this simple practice and see what happens:

Spend 3 minutes of quiet and connect to your heart.

You might set a timer, or just choose to sit in stillness for a little while.

Cross your hands over your heart. As you breathe, feel into the energy of your heart.

Pay attention to the sensations you feel.

Ask what your heart desires.

Listen closely.

Even if you hear only whispers, the information and insights are important to honor. And if you feel an absence of insight, try sitting a bit longer. Or try again later or tomorrow.

Next — no matter what you found — actively appreciate yourself. Send love to you, for being with yourself this way, and for being the amazing person you are.

Savor the sweetness of this experience.

This process is a way you can experience and cultivate self-love. Even if it feels subtle, it can be more powerful than you may imagine.

And the more you make this practice a part of your life, the bigger the benefits will be.

Consider expanding your self-love practice.

Gaze at yourself in the mirror each morning and smile warmly at you!

Focus on treating yourself to experiences that delight you. You deserve them.

Maybe a brisk walk each morning makes you feel alive and excited for your day. Make that a priority!

Maybe preparing clean healthy foods makes you feel great. Plan your day so there is ample time for that preparation, as well as savoring the food you cook.

Maybe adding a new color to your environment will lift your spirits each day. How can you bring in a splash of that color, perhaps with a throw pillow, or by painting an accent wall in a space you use a lot? Maybe you will choose to wear that color more.

Maybe visiting galleries or museums lights you up, or music stirs your heart. Make inspiration dates to bring joy like that into your life.

You will effortlessly begin to spread more love.

When we are filled with love for ourselves we can spread love to others with ease and joy. We naturally feel more affection and connection to everyone around us.

The expression of this loving energy can show up as smiling more at people (even strangers), expressing appreciation, and engaging in small acts of kindness.

And, at times when you might have typically felt annoyed or frustrated or angry with someone (friends or strangers), you may instead find yourself able to send them loving thoughts, or wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

When you spread loving energy — even wordlessly — you support your own wellbeing, and often shift the energy in the person or people around you in ways you cannot perceive.

The power of love can change your life.

Last week I was honored to lead a remarkable group of women for three days of deep work, infused by love, at my winter Live Big Live! retreat.

We began the journey 45 days before the retreat. We came together and dove deep into shaping visions for the future that were rooted in knowing that comes from a deep connection to the heart.

Love was the foundation for everything we did. Love infused each experience included in the program, that culminated in so many big outcomes.

Each woman connected to ways to cultivate self-love that had deep meaning for her. They each unabashedly honored themselves and their gifts, and claimed the desires in their hearts. They were able to step into honoring those desires, and begin to take concrete steps to make them their reality.

Shifts like this cannot happen in an instant. Practice is needed, and over the weeks and at the retreat, we practiced together.

With a foundation of self-love, each of the women naturally supported the others with tremendous love. The energetic connections were palpable and powerful.

Even without deep immersion and guidance, you can bring the power of love into your life in bigger ways than ever.

I invite you to start with the practice described above, and expand it as you feel inspired.

You will reap beautiful rewards.

If you wish to share your experience, or have questions, I would be happy to hear from you.

Email me to let me know how this resonates for you.

Stay safe and well, and create with joy.