Are you ready to ditch the fear?

Have you ever stopped to notice how often we say the words, “I’m afraid...” and hear others say it?

When I teach people about the many ways the Self-Critic tries to keep us small, stifling creative thinking and keeping us stuck, fear the the biggest culprit.

We let fear call the shots in countless situations—and most of the time that happens when we are not in mortal danger. 

In a situation where danger is real, our fear response keeps us safe. Otherwise, fear can be understood to be a tool of our ego. Our ego loves the status quo and is determined to try and keep us from making waves. It throws fear into our thoughts at every opportunity.

What decisions are you making—or not making—out of fear?

Can you recognize when fear is influencing you?

What would you do if you were focused on what brings you joy, or on what you yearn for, instead of letting fear hold you back? 

What would it look like to consider more ease, and more pleasure, as a new way of living?

Envision living your purpose without fear interfering. What pictures come to mind? 

What if you focused more on gratitude for all you have, rather than focusing on scarcity — the kissing cousin of fear?

What investments in yourself are you shying away from out of fear?

Do you fear investing in your health and wellbeing? Or investing in support to ease your way forward? 

Do you resist investing in help of other kinds because of fear? 

Can you envision how getting help could result in less stress, in opening space for you to do more of your genius work, or time to pursue more of what you love to do?

The consequences of staying in your comfort zone

When we stay in our comfort zone out of fear, we stay small. We cannot grow.

We long but we do not act. Our dreams feel impossible to attain and our hearts ache.

We are frustrated. We are static. 

Sadly, this stifled feeling increases over time.

We compromise, over and over. We tolerate endlessly.

And when we tolerate a relationship, a job, living for other people, an environment that is wrong for us, or anything else, our well-being—emotional, physical, or both—suffers.

The cumulative impact of living in fear can range from frustration to toxicity.

It’s possible to start living without fear

Ask yourself these questions: 

• What is there to be afraid of? 
• Is this really dangerous? 
• What would it feel like to stretch outside my comfort zone a bit? 
• What would happen if I take a small step in a new direction today? 
• Who can I ask to help me—to listen, to be a sounding board, to encourage me?

Change begins by simply asking yourself questions like these.

Next, be willing to take imperfect action. Make a small effort that isn’t completely comfortable and see what happens. 

(There are 3 great antidotes to fear, including specific ways to take action in this post that I wrote at the start of the pandemic.)

Chances are high that you will have a good experience after taking small, imperfect action. Or you will learn something! That’s where expansion begins.

And that’s a meaningful way to begin living big. 

Are you ready to take new steps to live big? 

If you have a deep desire to live free of fear, if you are unwilling to tolerate something, or really want something different in your life, getting started can be easier than you may think. 

Begin small and keep taking imperfect action. The consistent effort will build momentum. Soon you will be less tuned in to the fear. As your enthusiasm grows, related to the changes that you are able to make, it gets easier to continue on that path.

Stay safe and well, and keep creating.

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About Rochelle Seltzer

Rochelle Seltzer is a Creative Core Coach and the author of Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life. Rochelle guides her clients to Live Big by igniting and accelerating the vast power of creativity.

She coaches accomplished women (and some men) who are frustrated by challenges that limit them and are ready to create the big, bold lives they dare to desire. And, in her work with organizations, she leads retreats and customized programs that deliver powerful creative and learning experiences that build creative confidence, foster productive collaboration, and enhance team cohesion. She always welcomes a conversation, so get in touch.

Visit rochelleseltzer.com to learn more, and sign up to receive her Big Ideas.

Check out the Creators Of Change Resources on Rochelle’s site to access a growing list of resources for learning and action related to ending systemic racism. You will also find the link there to join her weekly Creators of Change Zoom calls.

And, take Rochelle up on her free offer—a guide to help busy women (and men!) begin to reduce overwhelm. Creating Space for YOU: Easy, Small Changes that Can Make a Big Impact.