Sooner or later, Rep. Barry Loudermilk (R-Georgia), the postman comes to your gate. You’re cruising along as the conservative Republican who liberated the House of Representatives from the presence of Bob Barr, one of the lead dogs in the Great Penis Chase of 1998. Your wingnut credentials are unimpeachable, your MAGA credentials even more so. During Impeachment I, you compared El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago’s situation to that of Jesus on Golgotha. This forced the task of Scriptural exegesis on the folks at Politifact:
"Before you take this historic vote today, one week before Christmas, I want you to keep this in mind," the Georgia Republican said Dec. 18. "When Jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the opportunity to face his accusers. During that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than the Democrats have afforded this president in this process.”
This nonsense did produce one of Politifact’s more memorable passages:
Jesus received no due process before Pilate, according to Robert Tuttle, professor of law and religion at George Washington University. "He just questions Jesus and says he finds no fault, then asks the crowd what they want done." The passages from the biblical books of Matthew (chapter 27), Mark (chapter 15) and Luke (chapter 23) "pretty much agree on the story," said Douglas Laycock, a professor of law and religious studies at the University of Virginia. "No one says that Jesus was offered a lawyer, or a chance to bring one, or a chance to call his own witnesses. No one said he could testify in writing if he didn't want to answer orally," Laycock told us. "They say the priests and scribes made accusations; no one says that any witnesses were called to support those accusations. Pilate thought Jesus was innocent, but the mob demanded his execution and Pilate finally acquiesced.”
So January 6 comes and goes, and the Capitol gets trashed, and, along with 138 of his colleagues, Rep. Loudermilk votes against certifying the election of the president. Then, on Thursday, comes the knock on his door. Rep. Bennie Thompson, chair of the House select committee investigating the events of January 6, and Republican vice chair Liz Cheney, are standing on the front porch of Loudermilk’s political career, waiting patiently. They have some questions.
We write to seek your voluntary cooperation in advancing our investigation. Based on our review of evidence in the Select Committee’s possession, we believe you have information regarding a tour you led through parts of the Capitol complex on January 5, 2021.
The foregoing information raises questions to which the Select Committee must seek answers. Public reporting and witness accounts indicate some individuals and groups engaged in efforts to gather information about the layout of the U.S. Capitol, as well as the House and Senate office buildings, in advance of January 6, 2021.
For example, in the week following January 6th, Members urged law enforcement leaders to investigate sightings of “outside groups in the complex” on January 5th that “appeared to be associated with the rally at the White House the following day.” In response to those allegations, Republicans on the Committee on House Administration—of which you are a Member—claimed to have reviewed security footage from the days preceding January 6th and determined that “[t]here were no tours, no large groups, no one with MAGA hats on.” However, the Select Committee’s review of evidence directly contradicts that denial.
That last sentence is as barbed as a harpoon. Me? I let them in, offer them some finger sandwiches and coffee, and talk to them as long as they want you to talk to them. If you look around the committee room and you can’t tell who the sucker is…
Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.
