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Lives of Great Men: Living and Loving as an African Gay Man

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From Victoria Island, Lagos to Brooklyn, U.S.A. to Accra, Ghana to Paris, France; from across the Diaspora to the heart of the African continent, in this memoir Nigerian journalist Chike Frankie Edozien offers a highly personal series of contemporary snapshots of same gender loving Africans, unsung Great Men living their lives, triumphing and finding joy in the face of great adversity. On his travels and sojourns Edozien explores the worsening legal climate for gay men and women on the continent; the impact homophobic evangelical American pastors are having in many countries, and its toxic intersection with political populism; and experiences the pressures placed on those living under harshly oppressive laws that are themselves the legacy of colonial rule - pressures that sometimes lead to seeking asylum in the West. Yet he remains hopeful, and this memoir, which is pacy, romantic and funny by turns, is also a love-letter to Africa, above all to Nigeria and the megalopolis that is Lagos.

266 pages, Paperback

First published November 24, 2017

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Chike Frankie Edozien

5 books7 followers

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5 stars
28 (37%)
4 stars
24 (32%)
3 stars
15 (20%)
2 stars
4 (5%)
1 star
3 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
Profile Image for Lorraine.
473 reviews158 followers
September 26, 2018
GREAT lives of great men. I am amending the title.


Great book. Greatly written. Raw and unflinchingly truthful. Not for the queasy. Not for the fainthearted. If you are a prude, a bigot, for heteronormativity, you will lose out on these great stories. Stories about communities supporting and nurturing each other. Stories about the concequesnces when communities turn on their own the Salem whitch-hunt style. Stories of perseverance and persecution. Stories about human dehumanising humans. Stories of love and loss. Stories of triumph and defeat. Stories of victory. Pyrrhic victory.


Chike is living his life. On his own terms. At a cost but a price he is willing to pay.


Beautiful cover. Beautiful delivery of the narrative. When you own your story, magic happens.
Profile Image for Marta.
56 reviews9 followers
October 24, 2018
Reading this book is kind of like running into the author at a party, and having him talk at you about:

-his jet-setting
-his dear, dear, friends who are amazing and love him
-the cool/exclusive clubs/restaurants/house parties/resorts that he has attended in the coolest neighborhoods/cities all over the world!
-his catty opinions about people who, honestly, seem way more fun to hang out with than this guy, b/c at least they didn't write this meandering, self-serving memoir, am I right?

The acceptable parts of this poorly-organized catalog of Edozien's random observations are where he quotes other human beings, who, in marked contrast to the author, sometimes have interesting or insightful things to say about their queer lives/our complicated world.

The worst parts are where he quotes truly gifted writers at the beginning of each chapter, b/c it reminds you that you could be reading audre lorde, or chimamanda ngozi adichie, or james baldwin, but you're not b/c you have to finish this dumb book that YOU chose for book club b/c it sounded so good (but isn't)!!

The medium parts are where he says weird stuff - like describing a lady as "my dear friend as well as the personification of a hot babe" or gets super-judgy about this poor guy who was "amazed by sidewalks," "had a brand-new passport with zero stamps in it," and "had never been on a plane before [Edozien] brought him to South Africa." Or where he explains that he "never like[s] to march and protest [for social justice issues]...because I feel it could compromise my integrity as a journalist if I end up reporting on the issue," but is 100% boycotting Dolce & Gabbana (suits AND fragrances) - so don't worry, he totally gets it re: social justice issues and stuff!!

Anyway, I came away from this book unscathed, but feeling very misled by the glowing reviews/descriptions on the cover, which make it seem "Good on Paper" even though it is in fact a bad and not good book.
Profile Image for Anathi Jongilanga.
9 reviews1 follower
September 9, 2023
This is a really important book. Africans - particularly heterosexual Africans - who can access and read it need to do so expeditiously. Page by page we will inch closer to realising human rights for all the citizens of this continent and the world.

I would have liked to have seen more stories involving trans men and non-binary people though. Still, what we have here is a great book worth all the money spent on it.
Profile Image for Evan.
7 reviews
January 18, 2021
Fascinating and crucial subject, a bit subtle for my taste.
April 22, 2022
Compelling and bold!

Frankie Edozien is a powerful voice for change and against hatred. His is a beautiful perspective. I highly recommend this book. I learned so much about Nigeria, Ghana, New York City, journalism, being a proud and successful person of color, immigrant, gay man, and writer.
Profile Image for Alessandra.
Author 16 books25 followers
October 20, 2018
“At this point, even though I’d been raised to never challenge elders or authority figures, particularly him, I am firm in my belief that no one has the right to, in my mind, belittle me. The hard years abroad and alone have shaped this worldview. Respect cannot be assumed; sometimes it has to be a earned.”

And that is without a doubt what this book deserves: Respect. Frankie Edozien brings his experience as a decades-long reporter to tell stories of gay men living in Africa and trying in their own ways to build a life where they can be themselves: their sometimes inauthentic selves, in a world that strives to break their spirit for just... being. From Nigeria, to Ghana, to Uganda, to South Africa, to Paris, to New York, Edozien paints a lavish world of mostly bourgeois gay men trying to juggle their identity and the pressure that comes from traditional African families. Theirs is a story that needs to be told but even as I read through, I couldn’t help but wonder, what about the not so privileged gays? Kainene tells us in the last page “I’m sure to the outside world it seems like, ‘Oh my god, gays in danger here,’ but in Lagos we will carry on as we always have. People will get over themselves” and I chuckle even as I wonder if she is aware of her privilege? After all, money has been the one constant in protecting folks in this country and we are well aware that it is when you are gay and poor in Nigeria that death comes knocking on your door.

Speaking of gay men, although I am well aware that the book is titled Lives of Great Men, I still found it interesting to note just how little queer women were mentioned in the book. In fact, women in general were not given so much presence. Even when Edozien was talking about Amadou Diallo’s murder at the hands of off-duty members of the NYPD and the tragedy was woven into the increasing rise of police brutality against black bodies and the black lives matter where he ended by reeling off the names of some of the unnamed black men that have died at the hands of police officers. Names like Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, etc. but I found it interesting that no black women were named. What about Sandra Bland? Charleena Lyes? Aiyana Stanley-Jones? Why are black women not considered in this narrative when they keep stepping up to protest against this injustice and yet when they are the ones who are killed, their names are quickly forgotten? Black women started the Black Lives Matter movement and still, our pain and deaths are not given as much attention as that of black men.

It makes me wonder, is it this disregard for women that makes it so easy for Edozien to wonder “Why should married men who have same gender love interests on the side be looked at any differently from their heterosexual friends?” Or is he utterly unaware that we can castigate both the heterosexual men and homosexual men for the sole reason that although polygamy is accepted to some extent in Nigeria, polyandry is certainly not? Because ultimately, it is the men that have the luxury to find love outside of their marriage, the women, not so much. Can we in trying to humanize gay men not shit on women?
All in all though, I did enjoy the book and I hope Chike Frankie Edozien writes more books. Hopefully with more female characters than he has in this one.
Profile Image for Sarah Schulman.
218 reviews348 followers
Read
January 26, 2018
First African gay memoir that I have read. Fascinating range of experiences and perspectives.
Profile Image for Obinna Tony-Francis.
48 reviews1 follower
September 27, 2021
(4.5/5)

This book is a rollercoaster of emotions. It spilled secrets and said what you think should not have been said. Sometimes, I opened my mouth and screamed at where the author was moving to. Then, I asked myself, "are these names real?" Why is he name dropping them? Somehow, I believe they are not real names but the author didn't say either they are real or not.

The story started fast-paced and annoying and if I didn't have patience, I'd have stopped it abruptly. But I didn't. Then, it became annoying when it started to look like a sort of thesis-esquire and research work. I wanted to ask where the story was moving until he hooked me into the flow. Before I was hooked in, I had already planned what I'd rate the story if it didn't do it for me. And after I was hooked in, I thought the momentum would slow at the end, but it didn't. It became a ride till the end.

Chike Frankie Edozien shared his life history, made points, educated us and gave us the intricacies of what we didn't know before. He told the story simple, though garnished his sentences with big words sparingly. It's expected of a journalist, anyway.

The story was about Chike's life, his family and also friends in his life. He gave detailed account of them. It moved through America, Nigeria, Ghana and what other gay men from different African countries living in America are going through. Some of his exposé reinstated "male audacity" which I believe is annoying. The entitlement amongst them that they try to suppress in a heterosexual relationship because Patriarchy expects they provide but they bare it on other forms. But in a homosexual relationship, they become pronounced.

It's a masterpiece...
Profile Image for Alexis Hubsky.
368 reviews25 followers
May 13, 2022
Writing 5| Research 5| Understandability 5 |Enjoyability 5

Overall 5

I learned a lot from reading Edozien's memoir. I didn't know that the reason why African nations which are not known for being very open to sexual identies and gender differences was really a big cause to do with colonization causing the christian faith to change a lot.

Or the fact about Scott Lively giving fuel to the fire of hate and discrimination in Nigeria.

This is a small memoir of about 250 pages and it just takes a while to read to really ingest what Edozien is telling you.

A lot of what he talked about was hard to take in as a member of the queer community. I really liked when Edozien would talk about like FB and someone having a discussion on LGBT right to exist and it being their friend and he would be like YOU allowed this conversation to happen.

Yes. I loved the fact that he showed them that putting their views for everyone to see and showing this hate in such a space just makes it worse.

I really feel like this book is super important in the fact that it shows you just how different cultures are and why their queer identities and the different factor makes them isolated and why you can see people fleeing their own countries for asylum.

Edozien talks about how he loves his country and wants it to be better and I can feel his love for Nigeria, the culture, and his family, is in his writing. I'm just sad that he felt he couldn't be himself at home without fear of being ostracized or worse killed for existing.

His story is powerful and needs to be talked about.
Profile Image for Naija Book Nerd.
17 reviews
December 20, 2022
As a queer Nigerian myself, I found this poorly written and soulless portrayal to be disappointing.

I do admire the author for his courage and pride and appreciate some salient points made advocating for our community. However, one cannot help forming a dislike for the author while reading this. There are traces of misogyny and anti-Ghanaian sentiment as well as a general pomposity as he namedrops his way over the pages.

Particularly irritating are his constant references to his own sartorial prowess (when describing a homophobia-connected murder in NYC, a few minutes prior to which he finds himself chatting with the perpetrator, he manages to let it slip that he, Edozien, had recently bought an expensive suit at Savile Row). This kind of writing strips the murder victim of some of the empathy and attention that was deserved, and (I suspect correctly) paints Edozien himself as an elitist snob.

Finally, Edozien also apparently lives out the stereotype that the queer community is hopelessly and unethically non-monogamous, caring nothing for the health and safety of their partners.

I am nevertheless grateful for the read and do recommend it, as it contains valuable anecdotes.
Profile Image for Letlhogonolo Mokgoroane.
58 reviews30 followers
March 17, 2019
' it’s been ten years plus since we last met. Even after all this time our bodies haven’t lost the fetal magnetism for each other.’ — @livesofgreatmen


Lives of Great Men by Chike Frankie Edozien is a beautifully written memoir chronicling the lives of great men and womxn from the continent. The book is skillfully written to journal the extraordinary lives of LGBT people. It uses history, language and ordinary stories to capture the lives of people who look like us. It also provides social commentary of a variety of issues such as fatherhood, parenting while queer, family, same-sex coupling, gay identity survival, asylum-seeking and the politics of belonging. It also provides some history of LGBT violence on the continent through law and other means. It is a book I would revisit again. It has a rich tapestry of stories that seek to humanise and normalise queerness in a world that seeks to erase us. A defined @cheekynatives recommendation
Profile Image for Terrell Wrice.
5 reviews
February 17, 2023
Overall, pretty good. It was interesting to learn about this unsung community living among Africans, and how they are treated within their family units and their countries. The overall message is really beat into you, and a lot of stories kind of melt together due to their similarities. Some of the stories do feel like they’re a bit redundant, but the first time around the stories come around they hit really hard, especially as a queer man. Also, the author is writing from a very high place of privilege, which while not being his fault, can make the book a little boring and unrelatable as he name drops his dear friends and talks about all of his jet setting. The pockets where he talks about regular, working Africans being gay were my favorite part, as it felt like a more authentic and interesting experience.
Profile Image for Bel.
794 reviews56 followers
July 14, 2021
A really interesting perspective from a gay man born in Nigeria but living in the US. It's not quite clear what this book wants to be, but it is certainly intriguing and entertaining. Edozien tells stories of his own life and anecdotes from his friends' lives, while examining how gay men (and very occasionally women) find ways to exist in various African countries. The warmth Edozien feels for his fellow man makes this a charming read, although I did find it lacking in analysis, and he didn't really get into any political details near the end. In any case, I definitely appreciated his sharing of his experiences.
Profile Image for Meredith.
242 reviews
July 16, 2020
I am torn between 3 and 4 stars. Totally loved loads of stories in this book, but I did find that sometimes the author's story and voice got lost in the shuffle of fitting all the celebrity encounters and some of the fancy bits. I loved the stories, though, of finding love, figuring out how to be yourself in countries that want you to hide. There were some brilliant people finding out how to do that, fighting in myriad ways to fight, love, change the world, protect their lives and their families' lives, and find the space to be true to themselves.
February 17, 2024
Reading this made me realize how much I've missed the world of memoirs, biographies, autobiographies and personal essays and has become a kind reminder to explore it more. This globe-trotting book follows the life of the author as a young gay man growing up in Nigeria and through his many impressive years as a journalist. Along the way, he beautifully renders his life and that of other queer persons he's come across, from how they maneuver in unaccepting societies to his work for the queer community. I haven't finished a book quite as quickly in a while and I thoroughly enjoyed it. (4.5)
Profile Image for Robert Kimbui.
6 reviews
March 20, 2020
Great read

Amazing story, well written, comical and very insightful. I did not put it down once I started. It tells the story of many african men and provides hope for those seeking authentic lives and love in Africa.
Profile Image for Joe.
46 reviews9 followers
July 28, 2018
Memoir from an untold point of view.
271 reviews2 followers
July 20, 2020
A priceless perspective on gay Africa by a gay African.
Profile Image for Sophie.
88 reviews
March 6, 2023
Edozien's cosmopolitan snobbery is a delight, and his journalistic work interviewing gay men and women across Africa is illuminating.
6 reviews
January 4, 2019
Discusses queer people and quite an interesting read, I was slow with it but it was enjoyable to read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Uchenna (favourite_igbo_boy).
130 reviews25 followers
June 6, 2021
Lives of great men is a memoir I really enjoyed.
It was a read I found connection with and was able to relate with it.
A read that shares the experiences and encounter that Chike had with several different men.
How these men with different sexualities lived a life that wasn't what they really wanted. How the society, culture, family & friends, religion and ignorance played the major role in some individual lives.
How androphile men because of societal and family expectations and pressure gets married to the opposite gender openly and still keep been gay secretly.
How been androphilia man is a sin and means you are evil, mentally not okay just because you are different from what they want you to be.
How having a different sexual orientation is unAfrican and backing up there say with the religious book, forgetting that, the book too wasn't originated from Africa.
How some men were openly homophobe and internally queer, (hypocrisy the order of the day).
The book also talks about the issues in the L(G)BTQ community too especially the roles part.
It's an unfiltered honest, truthful and real story.
Profile Image for Tom.
5 reviews
June 28, 2021
One of the few books I have declined to finish. In spite of the interesting premise this is the dullest and smuggest memoir I have read. Despite being a novella the author struggles to deliver anything of substance in the few hundred pages he fills. Removing the name-dropping, self congratulatory anecdotes, and coldly detached sex scenes there’s very little left to this story - certainly nothing endearing of its author.
Profile Image for Trent.
Author 2 books7 followers
April 22, 2018
In Lives of Great Men, Frankie Edozien tells the story of his own life, from his first homosexual experiences in boarding school in Nigeria through to his current life as a journalism professor at NYU, happily ensconsed in Brooklyn with his Japanese-American physician husband. But this memoir is much more, focusing as well on the stories of the close friends and sexual partners who remain in west Africa, many of whom are married with children but keep same-sex partners on the side. And it’s also an incisive look at gender expression and sexual identity in sub-Saharan Africa, as Edozien examines antigay government policies in his homeland as well as in Ghana and other countries. Adding it all up, Lives of Great Men is a fascinating read.
A finalist for the 2018 Randy Shilts Award for Gay Nonfiction, presented by the Publishing Triangle
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews

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