Donald Trump thumbs up

John Locher | AP Photo

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First, congratulations to Donald Trump for pulling off what we can all agree, regardless of our political stripes, was an upset electoral victory for the ages. I give Trump a lot of credit for a gracious acceptance speech and for laying the groundwork, hopefully, for a conservative and prosperous path forward.

Trump threw around a lot of "thank yous" in that speech, and here are some of my own I would like to add:

1. Thank you, Black Lives Matter movement!

It was your disgusting chants of "What do want? DEAD COPS! When do we want ‘em? Now!" And the just-as-revolting "Pigs in a blanket, fry 'em like bacon" that so pissed off law enforcement men and women and their families, that it might just have motivated hundreds of thousands of Americans to vote against your deranged street chaos agenda.

Again, big thanks to Black Lives Matter, and say hello to now President-elect Trump. 

2. Thank you, Colin Kaepernick!

We love you Colin! Thank you so very much for your self-serving, ignorant, immature, anti-American protest, while bench-warming on the sidelines for the NFL's San Francisco 49ers. It was your effort to publicly humiliate our flawed-but-good-and-decent country that infuriated millions of working-class, patriotic Americans of all races and creeds and likely contributed to the unprecedented voter turnout in rural America, where honoring our country (while still recognizing its faults) is the rule, not the exception.

3. Thank you, hooligans!

A big thanks to the all of the criminal hooligans and thugs who spat on, harassed, screamed at, and attacked conservatives on college campuses, street corners, Trump rallies, and in every liberal big city, where to live as a conservative is to live with a target on your head. Your consistently discriminatory targeting of us only steeled the resolve of millions of Americans fed up with your bullshit and motivated us to go the polls and vote your political masters so far out of office that they won't sniff D.C. until Star Wars Episode 72 comes out.

4. Thank you, culture warriors!

Huuuuuge shout out and big thanks to the culture warrior liberals out there, who thought it a brilliant idea to push the idea that men should be allowed in women's bathroom — an idea so insane, only a liberal or a media figure (but, ahem, I repeat myself) would think it wonderful.

Let the catastrophe known as Barack Obama be a cautionary tale for all of the liberal nutters out there about what happens when you try to fit a square ideological peg in a round hole.

Although ground zero for this fight was North Carolina (and as of this writing the GOP governor may lose in N.C.), the state went convincingly for both Trump and the GOP lieutenant governor who, not coincidentally, was an enormous help in fighting back against this organized bathroom stupidity. 

5. Thank you, President Obama!

Finally, the biggest thanks of all is reserved for Barack Obama. (I bet you thought I would say Hillary, but she's just a mess right now, so we'll let her stew for a while).

Thank you Mr. President! Thank you for crapping on our economy and giving us the worst recovery from a recession in modern American history.

Thank you for hiking most of our health care insurance premiums by double digits and cancelling our insurance plans.

And thank you for opening our borders and insisting that American citizenship means absolutely nothing — that the entire world is entitled to stroll on in and take advantage of the unprecedented generosity of Americans.

The hard truth is that it was your relentless attempts to push a right-leaning country into liberal, kooky, fantasy-land that generated a historic Republican backlash that has now left American governorships, state houses, the U.S. Congress, the U.S. Senate, potentially the Supreme Court, and the presidency solidly in Republican hands.

Let the catastrophe known as Barack Obama be a cautionary tale for all of the liberal nutters out there about what happens when you try to fit a square ideological peg in a round hole. 

Thanks all! This Bud's for you!



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