LIFE

Christian speaker Rebekah Lyons struggled with panic attacks

Brad Schmitt
USA TODAY NETWORK – Tennessee

Rebekah Lyons, gasping, clutched her knees in the fetal position on the floor of the airplane’s forward galley. She watched passengers’ feet move by as they walked off the plane.

“I’m laying there, trying to get my crap together,” she said. “I do remember feeling totally ashamed of myself.”

Lyons had had her first full-blown panic attack.

The nationally known Christian speaker/author from Franklin explores her anxiety and depression around those attacks in her new book, “You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are,” coming out Tuesday.

That first attack happened on a 2010 flight from Atlanta to New York in the back row of the plane as it started to descend for landing.

The plane hit some turbulence — and something broke inside Lyons.

“From the soles of my feet all the way up my body, sheer terror,” she said.

National Christian speaker and author Rebekah Lyons' new book, “You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are,” comes out Tuesday.

Her heart started racing, the plane felt like it was closing in all around her, and Lyons couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d get trapped behind a wall of humans and be stuck on the plane forever.

Run! RUN!

Lyons felt like she had to make a break for it. Now. She knew it was a crazy thought, knew she had to stay in her seat, knew she had to settle down.

Suddenly, with the plane just yards from touching down, Lyons found herself flying toward the front door, rushing toward a flight attendant who was frantically waving at her to stop.

Lyons ran the whole length of the plane, stopped and barely squeaked out the words: “Panic! Panic!”

She collapsed on the floor and stayed there, terror subsiding slowly, until all the passengers were off the plane.

Lyons, 42, said she can’t pinpoint what may have caused the panic attacks. It might have been the family’s move from suburban Atlanta to Manhattan four months earlier. The stresses of raising a child with special needs. Being a mother of three. Building a business with her husband. Leftover anxiety from a performance-driven childhood.

All she knows for sure is that they kept happening.

Lyons was on a subway when she panicked next, dropping her coffee and trying to pry open the subway car doors as soon as they closed.

She had another meltdown while taking her children to meet their dad at the packed Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Lyons sat on the sidewalk and cried.

She felt anxious in crowded elevators, often taking the stairs more than 10 flights or waiting until an empty elevator landed on her floor.

If a train was really crowded, she’d wait on the platform for the next one. Or the next one. Or the next one.

National Christian speaker and author Rebekah Lyons wipes away tears during an interview in her home Thursday, Feb. 9, 2017, in Franklin.

Lyons often lies awake overnight, clutching her husband’s hand, asking him to pray with her: “Faith got really loud for me.”

A few months after that first attack on the plane, Lyons had to get on another one. A relative died, and Lyons had to go to the funeral.

She had no problems on the way there.

On the way home, by herself, landing in New York after midnight, Lyons felt that same terror start to sweep over her. And she turned inward.

Lyons closed her eyes and pictured her relative meeting Jesus for the first time.

While her heart raced and her skin tingled and some fear crept in, Lyons stayed focused on the image of Jesus welcoming her loved one.

“I sat in it and held it and stayed calm in it,” Lyons said. “That’s when I thought I can kick this thing.”

Panic didn’t end, but Lyons felt much more able to manage any episodes.

Lyons went through several months of feeling a chronic weight and tightness in her chest, unable to take a deep breath.

But she remembers the night that ended, Sept. 20, 2011, a night she woke up full of fear, grabbing for her husband’s arm, praying, until she raised her arm to the ceiling and shouted out: “Rescue me! Deliver me! I cannot do this without you!”

“I literally fell in the middle of the bed and I lay there. And everything instantly stopped. Not an ounce of tightness. I just laid there. I couldn’t even get off the bed.”

Lyons said she has had only one panic attack after that, when she locked herself in a bathroom on vacation six months ago.

For her, it was a reminder to stay humble and to stay connected spiritually.

“The trial doesn’t end for any of us fully,” Lyons said, “but he always gives us a way to escape.”

Reach Brad Schmitt at brad@tennessean.com or 615-259-8384 and on Twitter @bradschmitt.

National Christian speaker and author Rebekah Lyons will release her new book, “You Are Free: Be Who You Already Are,” on Tuesday.

Lyons to autograph new book at service

What: Christian speaker/author Rebekah Lyons will speak about her new book, "You Are Free," and autograph copies as part of a service that's open to the public.

Who: Lyons, her husband and Christian workshops partner, Gabe Lyons, and Christian music star Chris Tomlin

Where: Church of the City, 828 Murfreesboro Road, Franklin

When: 6:30 p.m. Tuesday 

More info: thewellcitywide.com