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What if your most important experiences could live on after you die?

“Three, two, one … Go ahead. O.K.” My name is Eva Schloss. Would you like to ask me some questions about my life? “Why don’t you ask me a question about Auschwitz?” Why don’t you ask me a question about Auschwitz? Everybody said, Never again, Auschwitz. We have learned our lesson.” But it looked bad again in the world. The hatred, discrimination. So I thought it really necessary to teach and to speak about it. “My name is Pinchas Gutter. I will answer any questions you might have for me.” “How old were you when the war ended?” “I was between the ages of 13 and 14 when the war ended in 1945.” But he doesn’t move much, really. And that’s his choice. But it’s very Jewish to talk with your hands. Yes, it is. And you should feel comfortable to do. And you can. Exactly. Yeah. It’s going to be somewhat normal in a hundred years’ time to have a person sitting in this position. And it won’t seem as unnatural. When you start to get into the questions and you start to get into the dialog, you kind of lose sight of the fact that the person’s not actually there. Gosh. My goodness. This is Andrew. Yes. Hi, Andrew. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Lisa. This is Lisa, her granddaughter. Right now, there’s about a hundred cameras on the stage. So we’re recording everything in all directions. The idea behind the green is that we can then take out the green and replace it with any other environment that you’re going to be talking in the future. So this could be a classroom. It could be a museum. We could put those backdrops behind you. In the beginning, I didn’t know really how to speak. You know, I’m saying you have to learn. Eventually, I found my own voice. O.K., here we go. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? I’m feeling very well A little nervous. O.K. When did you first start telling your story? Since 1986, I started to speak for the first time. And I haven’t really stopped since. “Today is October the 9th, 1996. The survivor being interviewed is Eva Schloss. Maiden name Geiringer.” I realized suddenly that people are interested and people do want to know about it. And this was really, a big turning point in my life. This is a repeat after me. “My name is Eva Schloss, and I’m a Holocaust survivor.” My name is Eva Schloss. I’m a Holocaust survivor. “I’m actually a recording, so I can’t answer that question.” I’m actually a recording. I can’t answer that question. “I don’t remember.” I don’t remember. “Maybe you should try to reboot.” Maybe you should try to — Reboot. Rebook? Reboot. Reboo— O.K., never mind. Too technical for me. I don’t quite imagine how people will feel about that, to pretend it is somebody really speaking to them who lived in that time 30 or 50 years ago. How did it feel to wear the yellow star, Eva? I was quite a stubborn child, and I didn’t want to wear the yellow star. I didn’t see why that was necessary. And I had a big fight with my mother. I didn’t want to, but my mother explained to me very, very carefully and thoroughly why it was dangerous not to wear it. Can I just tell you, these answers are great. They’re just the right length with the right amount of details. Wonderful. Thank you. What happened when you arrived at Auschwitz? Men and women were separated. So people clinged to each other, cried. And really, really horrible. And they guards came and beat us apart. And my father took me by the hand and said, Eva, dear, God will protect you. I often think of actors who do every day the same story. I vary it because if I would do the same thing all the time, then I might get fed up with it. Have you come up with a name for the contraption that you’re in yet? Cage. The cage? O.K. Big cage. So describe to us as the most emotional situation that you had to face while you were in Auschwitz-Birkenau. I think the biggest shock I experienced was when I saw my naked mother walking out of this barrack, knowing that she was going to be gassed. I think that was the hardest moment I experienced. And was she? She was saved, and we were reunited. And she lived for a long, long time till 93 years old. I’d always seen it in front of my eyes. So I lived with it, really. You know? I saw the inside of the cattle truck where we were moved. I saw the arrival in Auschwitz. I saw everything. At night especially, when I was not busy. You know, all those images came back till I started to speak about it. Then, I could let go. O.K., this is over here. Right here. These are the gas chambers over here in this area. And these are the forests around here. Yeah. The pond where you would have gone to get water is all around this area here. How does it make you feel looking at that? Very confused because when you were inside, you had no idea — Of how big it was around it, yeah. And where, and what, and how things were connected to it. Yeah, exactly. And even when I was there now, I was completely disoriented. There’s not a day goes by when I am not thinking about them in one way or another. I wasn’t coping at all after the war. And it was Otto Frank who came very often to our house who saw how I was suffering, and he really helped me a lot. I don’t think I ever replaced Anna for him. I personally had the feeling very often, but that he never, ever made me really, really think that. But I just felt, that when he looked at me, I always thought, is he thinking, why did this child survive and why not my own daughter? Do you remember how you felt about Anne after you read the diary? I must say, I wasn’t particularly interested in it at first. Why not? I was much too busy to cope with my own grief. Anna frank says in her diary when she dies, she would like to live on. Meaning she wants to become immortal. And she has succeeded.” How did your daughters cope with having two parents who both experienced trauma? As soon as they were teenagers and older, and started to know more about our history, I think they had difficulties to cope with it. To accept it. She told us anecdotes and stories, but it was almost like it was someone else’s experiences, not her own. There was a certain time where she didn’t want to talk about it and was protecting us. Our whole generation has been uprooted. And as a result of the experiences through which all of us have gone, we have some psychological problems. All of us, of one kind or another. And our anchor to the future is our children and grandchildren, which hopefully we’ll find back into normality. Great day. Great day. You’re going to miss us, though. Say I miss it?” Yeah, you’re going to miss it. I’m not so sure. That’s a wrap. [applause] Woo! Bravo! Bravo! [interposing voices] So, back to normality. Normality. Although, you still picked to wear gray silver. Yeah. I can’t go right into a color after all this. Yeah. You need to ease yourself back to color? See you. Say goodbye to the studio. You didn’t say goodbye to the cage. No. Here we go. Usually, twice a week, I go out speaking. I said to my daughters, who think I don’t have to do all this, I need it for my sanity. Too hot? Uh-uh. I got over it, the suffering. The only thing what I still don’t get over really, and I don’t think I ever will, is the loss. This project will almost immortalize her, so that she can go on telling the story once she’s no longer with us. But it is still a story, really. It’s what it is. Unless you live through it, you can’t fully identify. I hope you don’t forget what you’ve heard here today. Goodbye.

Op-Docs: Season 6

116 Cameras

By Davina Pardo September 19, 2017

What if your most important experiences could live on after you die?

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