Meeting and talking to strangers/the other/the queer
In our line of work, we meet many strangers. When I encounter a stranger, depending on the context, I often find I either move forward with curiosity or a sense of trepidation. Who is this person, where do they come from and what are their experiences?
It has become the norm for the IAM team, in meeting strangers, to show respect by being sensitive to their preferred pronoun e.g. some non-binary/ genderqueer/ gender-fluid people prefer to use gender-neutral pronouns like they, ze, hir, le, or others (you can learn more through resources like this). We have learned:
- Using the correct pronouns is not optional
- To be open to learn new things
In our landscape we are always surprised and reminded that we still have so much to learn about the rich diversity of creation and how it plays out in the lived realities of the stranger, which is often accompanied by much pain, exclusion, silence and misunderstanding.
Take for example the “I” in the acronym “LGBTIQ” – Intersex people. Despite all the accolades the world-famous athlete Caster Semenya received, there are still people that remain confused about Caster’s biological sex and gender. There seems to be a stubbornness of holding on to the binaries – male/female; man/woman - an outright refusal and denial to be open to new revelations (or perhaps not so new) that express the diversity of creation.
We should not shy away from speaking about the fact that they have always existed, the role colonial powers played, the power doctors exercised in their genital mutilation and their erasure and othering. Many indigenous communities had gender diverse people eagerly accepted into their societies before colonisation, yet now we face a struggle against communities that suffer from amnesia and view non-binary identities as a Western concept. This needs to be decolonised and new, gender nonconforming spaces, need to be claimed and created.
You might have noted; awareness is being raised during 26 October - 8 November to the challenges intersex individuals face. The Intersex Day of Remembrance or Intersex Solidarity Day concludes with the birthday of Herculine Barbin. Barbin was a French intersex person who was assigned female at birth on 8 Nov 1938, raised in a convent, but was later reclassified as male by a court of law. You will read some more about the experience of “intersex” people in this month’s posts.
I would like to challenge you, our readers and supporters (and challenge your family, friends and colleagues), to engage with the stranger, respectfully, to be open to learn and to receive the blessing that strangers have to offer. You might even find something of yourself in their story – transferring them from a stranger to a friend.
You are welcome to tell us about your experience on Facebook or send us a mail at info@iam.org.za
Go well!