Elysian Charter School
A Positively Different Public School
May 29, 2018 Vol. 13 Issue 35
The school newsletter is sent out on Mondays. When there is a holiday, the newsletter is sent the following day.
Calm Voices, Calmer Kids
Originally published on ChildMind.org on January 16, 2018
Sometimes it’s hard to keep your cool, but less yelling means better communication
Before hopping aboard the roller coaster ride called parenthood, people sans kids have likely witnessed exasperated moms and dads losing it in Aisle 5 and thought smugly, “I’m never going to yell at my kids.” And then they have families of their own and reality sets in. For as their munchkins reach each much-anticipated developmental milestone, they acquire some less desirable skills as well. So a 2-year-old who “scribbles spontaneously” may very well exhibit her newfound talent all over freshly painted walls and prized furniture, while emerging language allows her to repeat certain choice words again and again, including the ever-popular “No!”
Parents know that in the midst of the mayhem, staying calm (aka not yelling) is a golden rule. But unless you’re made of stone, it’s pretty tough to maintain a measured tone when you’re dealing with kids day in and day out. When parents yell, “they’ve lost it,” says Dr. Steven G. Dickstein, a child and adolescent psychiatrist. “They’re overwhelmed with anger or frustration.”
There are very few situations that merit yelling, other than when a child is doing something dangerous or harmful. Yet “I don’t think there’s a parent who hasn’t yelled,” says Alice Long, who blogs at Mother L about son D, 3, and daughter Em, 2. “This will happen. Let it go.”
So why is it so important to be firm — without raising your voice?
What’s wrong with yelling?
--Upping the ante, losing the message: Yelling often fails to get the point across because emotions can overcome the message. It will also likely escalate the situation, and the child’s aggression, be it verbal or physical.
--Heard it all before: If parents yell all the time, Dr. Dickstein notes, “kids may either shut down or ignore it because it’s nothing new.” Adds Kara Gebhart Uhl, a mother of three and the blogger behind Pleiades Bee, “Sometimes, a whispered ‘I’m very disappointed with your actions’ is much more startling to a child than a screaming rant.”
--Hard on self-esteem: We know that yelling and harsh parenting are associated with lower self-esteem for kids, and can affect their performance in school. Kids who are the object of verbal aggression are at risk for aggressive or disruptive behavior. Dr. Dickstein cautions that when mom or dad yells, kids may feel the parent doesn’t “love them or even like them” and can only criticize.
--Missing out on the positive: When yelling is the chronic mode of communication, both children and parents are missing out on the chance to form positive, affectionate bonds. And for kids predisposed to anxiety and depression, internalizing these negative interactions may be the tipping point.
--You feel bad, too: Meanwhile, blowouts can leave parents feeling guilty, frustrated and demoralized. Adults who express anger in negative ways increase their chronic stress, which contributes to health problems.
Why calmer is better
Addressing inappropriate behavior calmly enables you to focus on teaching the child what’s problematic about his behavior, and following through with effective consequences.
--Modeling behavior is major: When parents practice healthy self-regulation, it helps kids learn how to self-regulate themselves. Mom Regina Myers testifies that when she turns the volume way down, her “teenager responds much better and yells less himself!”
--Kids feel safer. The best style of parenting features “a high degree of nurturing, firm but kind,” says clinical psychologist Melanie Fernandez. As much as children and teens may act like they want control, what really makes them feel safe are calm, consistent, fair authority figures. (There’s a reason why some parents look to Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan for child-rearing tips. After all, good parents must be leaders of their pack, um, family.)
If you work on specific strategies that help yourself feel calmer, you can help your children learn to regulate better.
Tips for Parents
--Identify problem interactions: Pinpoint the recurring problems that frequently set you and your kids off. If getting out the door for school in the morning is a chronic issue, solutions might include laying out their clothes and showering the night before, or everyone waking up a bit earlier. Try to break it down into steps you can tackle calmly
--Create consistency: With younger kids, it helps to create a set routine with simple, one-step directions that could include visual aids, not to mention plenty of labeled praise and rewards.
--Consider triggers: Being aware of the context of the behavior allows for calmer responses. If we recognize when a child is cranky because he missed his snack or is overtired, it can be easier to temper our own frayed feelings.
--Understanding = patience: It’s also important for parents to know and understand their children’s capabilities, since this can help them become more patient. Understanding her son’s issues — he was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder — was “a game changer” for Long. You can become calmer, she says, when you “accept kids as they are, love them as they are, and recognize that half the problem is how you react.”
Elysian Services End of the Year Update
All families using the Elysian Care Program, should be advised that all payments for 3 days a week & 5 days a week programming is due by June 7th for June care packages. All hourly accounts will be billed weekly, until the end of the year.
All accounts for lunch, aftercare and trips must be brought up to date. All families can review their accounts on orgsonline.com. For small balances, you may write a check to each individual program for the balance. (Each program maintains a separate bank account for each activity, so please do not combine services.)
All credits and unpaid balances will be rolled over into next year's account at the end of the year.
We appreciate your bringing your accounts up to date.
This Week's Enrichment Clubs
No Clubs-School Closed
Drawing Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Create It and Make It Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Calligraphy Club - 3:00 PM - 4:30 PM (1 1/2 Hour)
Anime Club - 3:00 PM - 4:30 PM (1 1/2 Hour)
Chess Club - 3:00 PM - 4:30 PM - End date June 6 (14 week club)
Basic Baking Club - 3:00 PM- 4:00 PM
Clay Creations Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Lego Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Yoga Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Dance with Derrick Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Game Show Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Hola Amigos! Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Jewelry Making & Craft Club - 3:00 PM - 14:00 PM
Rock Climbing Club - 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Track Practice Rescheduled Next Week
*updated in calendar below
Track Practice cancelled on Monday, June 4.
Rescheduled for Tuesday, June 5, 3:00 PM - 3:45 PM, at 1600 Park
This is our last practice. Thank you.
Annual Year-End Picnic - Elysian Picnic in Columbus Park will be held Wednesday, June 6 (rain date Thursday, June 7th) from 6-8 pm.
What Can You Bring to Share?
K - 2nd Grade: Entrees - pasta, pizza, sandwiches, chicken, etc.
3rd – 5th Grade: Salads, Sides or Fruit
6th – 8th Grade: Dessert, Water, Juice Boxes
Bring for Your Family:
Blankets and chairs
Toys to share (No water balloons or water guns, please)
Volunteers wanted to help the night of the picnic! If you are interested, please email email@example.com.
Last Chance for Kickball! This Friday, June 1 at 7:00 PM
There are still spots available for the family kickball event this upcoming Friday, June 1, at 7:00 PM. This is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with family and friends, gather with the Elysian community, and support the school all at once!
To register, please go to: http://www.ecsnj.org/post-auction-opportunities
KICKBALL/DODGEBALL III (PARENTS VS. KIDS)
Grab the kids and join Elysian Charter School families for a night of games on Friday June 1, at 7:00 p.m. It’s parents vs. kids! Includes pizza and drinks, and a lot of laughs!
Donated by John Rutledge (referee supreme!)
Friends of Elysian 2017/2018 Annual Appeal- Update #1
We are off to a strong start!
Thank you to our Elysian community for such generous contributions and quick response to our Annual Appeal this month!
We hope you’ve enjoyed reading our ‘all in Tuesday’ highlights about the academic and technological programs Friends of Elysian has been able to finance with your contributions.
Our thanks to the following recent donors for their generosity (as of 5/28/18):
Jenifer Semenza & Christopher Gizzi
Lindsay Lloyd & Adam Berkowitz
Chris Eig & Jennifer Dusel
Lee & Stacey Khan
Tim & Ann Murphy
Lisa & Mark Spear
Joan & Danny Spiegel
Marcia & Drew Wholf
The Craft Family
The Shaytin Family
Let’s keep our school growing, ensuring academic success for all our 288 students!
Make your donation today! Every dollar counts!
To contribute, simply use the pledge sheet enclosed in the Annual Appeal mailing to make a donation by check or credit card. Or, if you prefer, you may make a secure on-line donation by visiting our website here.
Additional copies of the pledge form are available online. MATCHING GIFT PROGRAMS!
A number of companies match employee gifts. Please be sure to check whether your employer offers a matching program. We will provide any information needed to complete your request form. (Any questions? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org.)
Nearly 15% of funds raised in last year’s Appeal came from company matching! It has been a HUGE part of the Appeal’s success!
Thank you for your support!
For the eighth year in a row, Elysian Charter School will be participating in the "Swing Fore the Schools Golf Outing.” This is Hudson County's largest golf outing benefiting multiple local schools serving more than 1,500 students. Last year our school earned over $7,000 by identifying sponsors and registering enthusiastic golfers.
This year's tournament will be held on Thursday, June 7, at the Crystal Springs Resort in Northwest New Jersey. Bus transportation to and from Hoboken will be available. Registration and the driving range open at 11 AM. Lunch begins at 12 Noon. Tee-off is at 1:30 PM.
Please consider being one of the 300 golfers who will play 36 holes, participate in fun contests, win prizes, and enjoy a delicious lunch and dinner while raising money for our schools! In order to take advantage of early bird special pricing, make sure to register before May 17!
And finally, please don’t miss out on the opportunity to promote your business through this well-attended event. There are several sponsorship packages (starting at $250) that provide for great visibility for companies interested in reaching families in Hudson County. Please contact Jeff Joss (email@example.com), chairperson for the tournament, for additional details.
Thank you for your support!
First Week Sold Out!!
Very Limited Amount of Spots Remaining in Week 2
Reminder: Elysian has a nut-free policy
Any lunches, snacks, classroom treats, etc. must be a nut-free product.
Please call Diane DeSombre, RN with any questions. Thank you.
News from the Office
If your child has an appointment during school hours, an adult must come to office to sign him/her out. No student may leave on their own. This is a Department of Education regulation.
Elysian Collects Box Tops and LABELS for Education
Look for the container near Deb's desk in the office! Thank you!
Lost and Found
There are many things in the Lost and Found. If you lost it, it may be here!
Please come by the office and take a look. Anything left at the end of the school year will be donated to charity.
As per state law, we no longer publish the exact location of trips for security reasons.
Please read the calendar weekly, as changes are updated regularly.
Tuesday, May 29
- 6th and 7th Grades Trip
- Rugby practice, 3:00 PM - 3:45 PM, 1600 Park
- Track Practice, 3:00 PM - 3:45 PM, 1600 Park
Wednesday, May 30
- 5th and 8th Grade Science Exam
Friday. June 1
Sunday, June 3
- Track Meet, 10:00 AM, Lincoln Park, Jersey City
Tuesday, June 5
- Track Practice, 3:00 PM - 3:45 PM, 1600 Park
Wednesday, June 6
Thursday, June 7
- Picnic Raindate
- Swing Fore the School Golf Outing - Crystal Springs Resort
Friday, June 8
- 3rd, 4th and 5th Grade Spring Concert - 9:00 AM - Gym
- 8th Grade Trip
Saturday, June 9
- Rugby Cup - Grades 4 & 5, 8:30 AM - 3:00 PM, Randalls Island, NYC
- Rugby Cup - Grades 6 - 8, 8:30 AM - 3:00 PM, Randalls Island, NYC
- Track Meet, 10:00 AM, Lincoln Park, Jersey City,
Sunday, June 10
- Track Meet, 10:00 AM, Lincoln Park, Jersey City
Tuesday, June 12
- Kindergarten Trip
- 3rd Grade Trip
- 5th Grade Overnight Trip
Wednesday, June 13
- Town Hall Meet and Greet - New Director Susan Grierson, 6:30 PM *See below
Thursday, June 14
- 4th Grade Trip
- 5th Grade Return from Trip
Friday June 15
- Community Meeting, 8:45 AM - GYM
Monday, June 18
Wednesday, June 20
- 1st Grades Trip
- Debate Club Trip - 9:00 AM - 2:30 PM
Thursday June 21
Friday, June 22
Monday June 25
- 1/2 Day 12:30 PM Dismissal
Tuesday, June 26
- 1/2 Day, 12:30 PM Dismissal
Wednesday, June 27
- 1/2 Day 12:30 PM Dismissal-No Aftercare
- Last Day of School, Report Cards Distributed
*Save the Date
Wednesday, June 13, 2018 at 6:30 PM
Town Hall Meeting and Meet and Greet
This will be an opportunity to meet and greet Elysian’s new director, Susan Grierson.
There will also be a presentation by Donna Siminski and Rick Pressler of the NJ Charter Schools Association on funding and other issues that directly affect Charters.
- Because we have exceeded the number of built in snow days, we are required to extend the school year. The last day of school, as of now (i.e. if we have no more snow days), will be Wednesday, June 27th. The regulation is that we must have completed 180 school days prior to June 30th of the school year.
- June 25, 26 and 27 will have 12:30 dismissals
- 8th grade graduation has been moved to Thursday, June 21st.
Every year we build two or three days into the calendar to account for possible snow days. We also designate a number of days after the scheduled end of the school year as “snow day makeups.” This is designed to let everyone know, up front, of the possibilities.
A note about attendance: The New Jersey State Law is very specific about school attendance. By law, children are expected to be in school every day unless they are ill. There is no room in the law or regulations to excuse any children who have prior plans. We must mark all children absent who are not in attendance.
1460 Garden Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030
Harry Laub, Ph.D., Director