And yet, I felt behind. Through campus ministry, I got to know some of the most impressive young Catholics I had ever met — students who became my closest friends. I was in awe of their faith and devotion. But in that awe, I started to feel like I wasn’t as good of a Catholic or Christian as those around me. My prayer life wasn’t good enough. My scriptural knowledge wasn’t good enough. My service wasn’t good enough. My relationship with God wasn’t good enough. I was constantly comparing my faith life to what I thought my friends’ faith lives were like.
However, as I got to know my peers in campus ministry on a deeper level throughout my four years on The Bluff, I realized that we shared in our struggles with faith and had many of the same questions. My mental image of what a “good” Catholic was started to crack. But it wasn’t until my senior year that the image shattered and I discarded it. I had met up with the other SLT members in the Pilot House one night after classes. We were talking about being Catholic in college, and the conversation turned to how oftentimes, people make incorrect assumptions about us because of our faith. One of the other SLT members expressed her frustration with this, and ultimately exclaimed, “There are infinite ways to be Catholic!”
I grabbed a pen and immediately wrote that down. The sudden comment made on a weeknight in the Pilot House my senior year rang so incredibly true. This friend, without her knowledge, spoke directly to how I had been feeling my entire time being involved with campus ministry. I don’t have to be Catholic in the same way that others are. That isn’t my calling. I am called to be individually Catholic. I am called to live a unique and individual faith life; to make my relationship with God my own. Even – and especially – in my weaknesses.
I realized that because we all different, there is no “good” or “bad” way to be Catholic or Christian. There are infinite approaches to how we practice our faith, because we each have our own unique personalities, gifts, and talents. We are all imperfect, and so our individuality also includes our weaknesses and shortcomings. “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” This passage reminds me that where I fall short, that’s where the Lord’s power can dwell. He will work in a completely unique way through both my strengths and my faults.
As we embark on a new year, I hope we all are encouraged in knowing that there is no “one way” to live our faith. And when we feel as if we are not knowledgeable enough, capable enough, or simply good enough – let’s remember that the Lord is able to work through even our weaknesses.
