“You’re Not Alone”
How many times have you heard “You’re not alone” when things weren’t going well? How many times have you said those words to others?
I’ve said them more times than I want to remember.
And I was wrong.
Every human hurts in a different way. We can make comparisons, and we can offer sympathy, but grief or distress is deeply personal. No one else fully understands how another person feels.
The worst responses I receive when I'm in pain are from those who tell me about someone who suffers worse than I do. In the midst of my misery, I don’t care about another’s anguish. I’m too focused on me.
The most condescending and patronizing thing we can say to someone in any level of trauma is, “I know just how you feel.” We don’t know. We may care, offer sympathy, and hurt because of their terrible plight, but their pain is strictly their own, and no one—other than God—grasps their feelings. It’s almost as if they say, “Get over it. It’s not so bad.”
When someone compares my difficulty with their own, it doesn’t offer much consolation or comfort. In fact, it diminishes my feelings. It’s as if they’re saying, “Yes, I know all about that. I’ve felt the same way and I got past it.”
Sure you got past it. So will I.
But like the old song goes, “Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen. Nobody knows but Jesus.” For me, as a serious Christian, those simple words remind me that the God I serve is the only one who truly understands.
