As a current graduate student and graduate minister at a Catholic university, this year has been a whirlwind. Like many, my job and lifestyle took a turn. I was challenged to shift my ministry to be entirely virtual. My classes moved to a format that was not optimal for me. At the same time, it seemed that systemic injustice and institutional racism were finally on trial by the people. As a person of color and a person of faith, there has been so much to behold, so much to feel, and so much to deplore. And time and time again, I found myself returning to this passage from St. Paul.
If these past months have taught me anything, it was a lesson on the fragility of my human life. Like many others, it felt like I, the clay jar, was cracking. Being 3000 miles away from home, having anger arise from tragic events in the nation, and dealing with the uncertainty of it all only scratched the surface. But St. Paul’s message reminded me that even though weakness and suffering exist, God's power continues to work in and through me. Paul lists various tribulations, but many scholars point out that this is not a glorification of suffering – rather a recognition of God’s power working even in the midst of our suffering.
So how was I going to make Christ's life visible through me? While no one answer seems to sufficiently answer this question, one that has presented itself is this: be attentive. Be attentive to what I am beholding, what I am feeling, and what I am deploring. I have been challenging myself to be attentive to my relationships, and to those I was accompanying in the midst of quarantine and isolation. Today, now more than ever, I felt the need to continue to attentive to the systemic injustices of the nation and work for justice. Lastly, I have to be attentive to the ways God’s extraordinary power continues to be manifested in my life, to notice the small ways God is present. I hope that if I continue to trust in the slow work of God, the life of Jesus may be made visible through me.
Reflection by James Paul Gumataotao ’17
