Sunday, December 18, 2022
- Reflection by Breck Cogswell
The Birth of Jesus the Messiah
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,”
which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus.
Our Duty and Our Joy
Today’s text illuminates the tension navigated by Joseph about what his relationship to Mary, and eventually, Jesus, would be.
In many interpretations of this text, it often seems that Joseph is lauded disproportionately for staying with Mary as she comes into her call to bear The Holy Child, so much sometimes that Mary is denied her own agency in what may have been a mutual conversation with her partner.
To be clear, Joseph is certainly put in a difficult social place, worried about “public disgrace” and bringing shame upon his family, Mary especially. His first instinct is to do what he believed was the kinder, gentler thing, and to walk away from the situation altogether.
So, what of Mary? She is also put in this difficult social place, likely even more than Joseph. Assuming she is aware of Joseph’s debate about staying or leaving, she also deserves some serious credit for how they could have been navigating this relationship-altering decision. Are they having conversations about this? Is Joseph falling into the trap of allowing shame to stop him from fulfilling his piece of this story? What are Joseph’s feelings about taking on a parenting role with this coming child?
These questions are worthy of imagination.
And more... Is it easier to walk away, to ignore the harder task of repairing relationships, to avoid telling the truth about what has actually happened here? Is it easier to ignore something so miraculous?
Yes. It is easier. Simpler. Cleaner.
Yet, the angel says that Mary and Joseph should rightly do otherwise, that there is reason to stay together, to stick this thing out. There is something important about remaining in relationship, especially as the story is barely begun. Walking away now in the face of trouble would leave Mary without a partner, Jesus without another parent. There is love between them. The expectations of society are what makes this a mess.
In our communion liturgy, we hold duty and joy together, saying we can rightfully act out of both, in thanks and praise to God. It is possible to hold a sense of responsibility AND joy as we boldly believe impossible things and proclaim impossible goodness together.
In our relationships, may we also hold duty and joy together. May we accompany one another when it is hard, always responding with love and communication and truth-telling. God is with us in this.
When we talk about advent joy, this is not a hollow, falsely-happy joy. This joy is expansive, void-filling, big enough to allow us to feel out the complexities of our relationships, to heal with one another, and to resist the way society might deem relationships countercultural or even downright deserving of shame simply because they are messy, odd, or unexpected.
It is indeed right, our duty and our joy, that we should always hold one another as we journey in our shared humanity.
Take joy, beloveds. Cling to the unreasonable joy and holy responsibility of being with and accompanying one another well.
