email : Webview : To Be Happy | Strom Therapy Newsletter

Tanna K. Strom MS, LMFT, LPC, RPT-S, CCPS

Licensed Marital & Family Therapist

Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor

Registered Play Therapist & Supervisor

Certified Child & Parenting Specialist

My Blog: creatingbranches.com

~building connection, fun, & love in your relationships~

I continue to do my blog www.creatingbranches.com which I created for my clients and professionals in the community. I have found that the general public has also found it to be helpful. My main goal is to provide information on healthy relationships and to share home and community relationship building activities for couples and families.

I am just coming up on my one year anniversary of this weekly blog. I hope you will find it helpful as it was created specifically for you. If you wish to have this delivered directly to your email, just go into a blog entry to become a follower.

Positive Thinking

The Art of Positive Intentions

What we say to ourself is a bit of a self prophecy. So paying attention to what we are saying to ourself is important. If we hear our thoughts taking an unhappy turn, we can replace them with more life affirming, “happy thoughts”. I have listed some general thoughts that you can use to replace unhappy thoughts or can be used whenever you think about it to attract more happy thoughts. We normally get more of what we think about.

“I feel happy today.”

“I choose to be happy today.”

“Even though it feels hard right now, I know it will be better soon.”

“I look forward to work today. I know I will feel good with all I accomplish.”

“I feel happy being with my family.”

“I enjoy and cherish this one on one time with my husband.”

“I am so happy to have my little ones. They bring me joy.”

Current Classes & Workshops

Individualized Classes for Your Group & Organization

To create a more individualized approach to classes and workshops, I have decided to offer my classes and workshops to groups and organizations at their specific meet places. In addition, modifying the information to fit the group I am presenting to.

I can present to church classes or retreats, schools – for parents or for teachers, organizations – small or large, adapting to professionals or parents.

I am listing a partial selection of what I have done as to workshops and classes in the past. I am able to do others. Just check in with me to see if I can be of help to you. If I cannot, I will be happy to help you find someone that can.

For Parents and Professionals:

Positive Guidance and Discipline

Self Esteem Building

Parent / Child Interaction

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

Siblings without Rivalry

Couple Communication

Family Communication

Mom’s Workshop Series

For Professionals:

Play Therapy

Sand Tray Therapy

Family Therapy

Child and Adolescent Therapy

A Professional Quarterly Newsletter

for

those interested in

Individual Well Being & Healthy Relationships

TO BE HAPPY

In this issue...

Individual Growth & Well Being - Happiness is a Choice
Couple Connection & Intimacy - Happy Together
Family: Creating a Healthy Home Base - Home Grown Happiness for your Family
Thoughtful Parenting - Helping the Unhappy Child
Positive Thinking - Positive Self Talk to Increase Happiness
Strom Therapy Relationship Blog - Creating Branches: Building Communication, Fun, & Love in Your Relationships

Individual Growth & Well Being

Happiness is a Choice

Years ago I ran across a book called “Happiness is a Choice” by Barry Neil Kaufman. It was the beginning of my exploration of happiness and what it means to be happy and how it comes about. I do feel that we all have genuine feelings of upset and this is our emotional guidance system telling us when we need to make corrections to feel better and find the ultimate joy and happiness that we are all designed to experience. But after this important heads up that there is a problem, we are then responsible to process and understand what is happening and then make the necessary corrections to guide us toward happier and peaceful feelings. Then at that point in time I do feel “Happiness is a Choice”. This is not to discount our sometimes very intense and disturbing feelings. They are so very important and we should acknowledge and honor those feelings as they can help us know we need to make a correction in our navigation system. We all have happiness inside us, ready to be invited out into our external world. So I hope you will listen to your feelings, thank your internal guidance system and move toward the happiness you were intended to have.

Choosing happiness means after exploring our feelings we then make a choice to let happiness come forth and be a part of us. It is rather freeing to know that we can choose happiness. So let us all remember, “Happiness is a Choice”.

Couple Communication & Intimacy

Happy Together

Remember the old song “Happy Together” by the The Turtles. Well we too can be “Happy Together”. Here are a few thoughts on what we can do to ensure as a couple that we are happy together.

Make Time to Be “Happy Together. In this busy, hectic world we live in, it means making a commitment to scheduling time for us to be together as a couple. Not with children, not with other couples, but with each other. Having regularly scheduled time can be helpful to making sure it does not get lost. Regular date nights, talk times after the kids are in bed, etc. all can make a real difference.
Talk About How Your Spouse or Loved One Makes You Happy. It is so much easier to focus on what makes us unhappy or what is going wrong. But when we let our sweetheart know what they have done to make us happy, there is a good chance that we will get more of that and it will make them feel so happy and appreciated. And isn’t that what we all want? I might add that talking to others about how your loved one makes you happy (in front of them) can create extra dividends for all. Who doesn’t like to be praised in front of others?
“Be There” Emotionally on a Regular Basis. I am talking about protecting the intimate bond you have with each other. This involves being there to listen and support and have “each other’s back". This safe / secure bond is crucial to adult attachment and creating a strong, healthy relationship. So be there for your sweetie!

Family: Creating a Healthy Home Base

Home Grown Happiness for your Family

We all want to have a happy home life with peaceful feelings of love and connection. And we can have that. Our home is our base or our “safe haven”. It is our place to gain needed support and encouragement to go back out and face the realities of life “out there”.

Just as with the couple relationship, we have to make time for our families by being there for all of the members in whatever way they need us. Each member needs to feel that they are acknowledged and appreciated for their unique contributions and for who they are. This encouraging, warm nurturing environment is what everyone of all ages needs for the fertile soil that grows happiness.

Couples and families are like a two sided coin, both are needed to support the other to make a whole.

As the adults in the family, it is helpful to act as “Happiness Leaders” modeling what it takes to be happy and talking about it directly with our children. This can be as simple as us talking about what is making us happy. Modeling is a very powerful teaching tool. What is more important than teaching children how to bring forth their own happiness?

Thoughtful Parenting

Helping the Unhappy Child

We all go through times of not feeling happy. This is not a bad thing, it is just a way of helping us know we need to do a course correction. As parents, we have the opportunity to help our children learn how to work with their unhappy feelings. So what can we do? Here are a few basics to consider in helping the Unhappy Child.

Acknowledging the Unhappy Feeling. We want our children to know that we want to know about their feelings. And that it is ok to have unhappy feelings. So if we can stay in a non-judgemental state this can help the child to feel accepted and begin the process of working through the feelings. You might start with something like, “It looks like you are not feeling very happy right now.” This gives them the space to talk about what they are feeling. If they choose not to share that is ok. They now know we are attuned to them and are ok with talking about this. You can always add, “If you want to talk about it, we can.”
Guide Your Child to Exploring What Might Make Them Feel Better. After they talk a bit about how they feel, you can then guide them to beginning to find a solution to feeling better. You can brainstorm with them possible ideas. But ultimately it is their choice to find an acceptable way to feel better. Depending on what the issue is, you as a parent may have a more active role. But the more we can empower our children to know that they can choose to take actions to be more happy the more we have set them on a path for learning how to take their upset feelings and begin to take charge of their happiness.
Directly Model How You Turn Your Unhappy Feelings into Happy Ones. You can model strategies to use when you are unhappy. You can share a time with them when you were unhappy and what steps you took to feel better. Of course, we would want to do this in a developmentally appropriate way. We want to use examples and language they can relate to and understand. Giving your child hope that things will get better is important. Plus, this normalizes their feelings by letting them know that everyone feels sad or unhappy sometimes. And that we can always figure out ways to feel better.

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