Years ago, on a mission trip to a country in Africa, I taught the Bible to some two hundred pastors. These men shepherd their churches by teaching the scriptures. I was delighted to share with them. That evening, however, as I met with the rest of our team, the ladies who were hosting these pastors’ wives told a different story. The pastors’ wives complained that their husbands were being physically abusive to them. To be clear, the preachers were preaching from the Bible but mistreating their wives.
What are the spiritual implications of marriage? Peter wrote in the first century to women and men explaining that their relationships with God should strengthen their marriages. For example, women could lead their husbands to Christ by serving the Lord with reverence and submitting to their husbands. This does not mean submitting to abuse. In Ephesians 5:21, Paul first spoke about mutual submission. Like the great women of the Old Testament, these Christian women showed their beauty not in flamboyant outward adornment but in gentle and quiet spirits. Peter invited them to do the right things and asked them not to give in to fear.
The husbands were to be considerate of their wives and to treat them with respect. I have heard pastors say in wedding ceremonies, husbands especially need respect. So do wives. Studies reveal that men are often physically stronger than women. On the other hand, women outlive men by an average of seven years or so. But Peter reminds the men that women are fellow heirs of the precious gift of life. Men and women come to Christ on level ground. When men mistreat their wives, this hinders their prayers.
On the next day, when I met with the pastors again, I changed the subject to challenge their mistreatment of their wives. I rebuked them publicly. At first, some of the pastors laughed thinking I was not being serious. Their culture reinforced the dominance of husbands over wives. We spent the rest of the day learning together how we might serve our wives.
Our relationships with others always affect our relationship with God. We cannot mistreat people and be right with God at the same time. God does not work that way. Neither can we. What do our marriages and relationships with others reveal about our relationship with God? How do we need to change today?
