Why discipleship is so rewarding 

II Corinthians 1:4 (AMPC) explains why I say that. “4 (God) Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.” (Upright Parenthesis mine.)

Here’s how that works. Tim and I have been discipling this Fellow Warrior, Nate for over a year now and here’s his testimony:

I spent the last quarter taking a sales rep who wasn’t performing well and building into him the ability to be a top Performer. I spent 3 to 4 months on the phone with him and I had aspirations to make him a manager in my Denver market. He was good and coachable, and when I promoted him, and gave him a raise, he said it wasn’t worth his time. The money that was offered to him was no small amount. He would have been able to make override on all of our office sales, plus his commission. It would have doubled his pay. He then tells me it’s not enough and it’s not worth it for him. I said okay, and I went in a different direction. I found myself feeling rejected, disrespected and hurt. I was sad, disappointed, frustrated, agitated, and unappreciated.

I felt like all that time was wasted — I spent a lot of time with him, when I could have spent it elsewhere. His ungratefulness was offensive to me. When I took my position with this new company this guy wasn’t making hardly any money. Neither was he performing well so I spent time with him that I honestly didn’t have, and that hurt.

God used that to make me think of how my ungrateful attitudes can wound my wife, like when she is thoughtful and does something for me, or works hard to accomplish things, and I don’t even acknowledge it or show gratitude. I know there are areas in my life that I show God I am not thankful for him too.

When I related it to my wife I said, “In this job situation it felt like the wind was taken out of my sails. I was completely devastated and sad. It was like all the energy was drained out of my body, and it didn’t matter what I tried to do to get myself back to normal I couldn’t.

She then explained to me that’s exactly how she felt when we were separated, and I stated I wouldn’t hold anything against her when we got back together. And yet I couldn’t move forward in granting her forgiveness — I would hold stuff against her. She told me how she felt cheated, uncared for, because she feels it when I simply look at her with unforgiveness and contempt. 

What she said during that spirit-to-spirit conversation was really eye opening. It proved to me that I was learning to understand my spirit and hers. I could tell her spirit felt open to me. And we were beginning to be more unified as a couple. I felt sorrow, grief, and sadness, but also joy, peace and encouragement, that we could move forward with me understanding her perspective more.

Nate’s testimony is now able to speak to another husband how a wife’s spirit is brought to maturity through her husband’s example.

If this is the same kind of spiritual growth you want in your marriage, call our Christ Quest Institute director, Tim Wedel, at (719) 251-4782 to get into a CQI+ Fellow Warriors class.

Me Being Illegitimate

I need to begin by letting it be known that as I apply the following verses, I Corinthians 1:27-29 (AMPC), they are not derogatory at all toward me. In fact, they are very uplifting and inspiring as they were directly written to me:

“27 …for God selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is foolish (Ken Nair) to put the wise to shame (by proclaiming the gospel of Christ-likeness), and what the world calls weak (emotionally functional, spiritual godliness) to put the strong to shame (through the portrayal of God’s ways). 28 And God also selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is lowborn and insignificant (like an illegitimate child named Ken) and branded and treated with contempt (IE: Christian husbands who are not willing to be living illustrations of the Christ), even the things that are nothing, that He (God) might depose and bring to nothing the things that are, 29 So that no mortal man should [have pretense for glorying (outside of Christ-likeness) and] boast in the presence of God.” (Upright parenthesis mine.) This is so encouraging to me. I’d love for you to join me in its ministerial capacity!

As some of you have heard, being illegitimate, I grew up in orphanages. I’ve mentioned too that I didn’t know what a mother or father were, what a husband or wife were, nor what a family was. And as I write this, I’ve become aware that I didn’t even know what it was to be a son. Then, due to some serious afterbirth problems my mother couldn’t take care of us so we were placed (until we were 2 — the dates were never discussed so these are estimates) with a couple who, today, I imagine would be called foster parents.

Somewhere around 4, my brother Lennie and I were placed in the first orphanage. But even there, my brother and I were kept separated. I don’t remember seeing him at all. Additionally, I only recall seeing my mom maybe 5 times between the ages of 2 till 14. Anyway — between the ages of 4 or 5, I felt desperately alone and unwanted.

One night, I was in bed and the all the lights were off, so my room was dark (I slept in a dormitory with about 10-12 other kids). My bed was next to the doorway and the hall light was shining on me and my bed. I remember feeling the desperation a 4-year-old can feel for attention, so I acted like I fell out of bed onto the cold linoleum covered, cement floor.

I laid there and laid there and laid there and laid there, hoping that the woman who oversaw our dorm, or anyone, would come in. That she would pick me up, hold me, and talk softly to me before putting me back in bed and lovingly “tucking me in.”

But nobody came to my rescue. So, as a 4-year-old child, I concluded that no one cared!! So, I decided I could never allow myself to be expectant and vulnerable to anyone ever again. Although those were not the words I knew how to use, those were the emotions I felt, so I determined I would ISOLATE myself — separate myself from any and all relationships. And that’s where I spent my life, my heart, my spirit…turned off and isolated. 

At the age of 14, my mom remarried when Lennie and I were in the second orphanage. We got to go to be with them in their home along with his five more highly prioritized children. That de-prioritization had the effect of me isolating myself even more deeply. But it also caused me to search for and spend years attending different churches trying to find one that was like the one I got saved in.

Then in 1959, with no relationship skills, I got married. However, after 13 years of marriage, Nancy had enough of my relational isolation and emotional abuse and was done with me. I was astounded because I didn’t have a clue about what went wrong.

Looking back, I’m unable to recall even the slightest mention of the term, “spiritual leader” anywhere in the Christian realm. Neither did I hear a word that described what that title actually consisted of or how to accomplish it. I felt like I had nowhere to turn.

But the Holy Spirit prompted me to go to the Bible and read it from cover to cover. I read so many verses that spoke of being Christ-like. Yet I’d never heard any church mention the concept of a Christian husband measuring spiritual leadership by comparing a husband to the Christ. That’s why it took 8 to 10 years of me working exclusively on myself to learn how to apply those Scriptures to fix the “me” that Nancy could no longer stand.

Here are some of the concepts I had to learn: That I had a human spirit. And if she was to be God’s helper for me, what kind of help did God intend a wife (my wife) to provide for her husband (me). Also, how to turn every event in life into lessons from God. Along with how to emotionally understand my wife’s spirit like Jesus did/does. Including, what did God create emotions for and many, many more Spiritual principles/truths. Yet I’ve never heard any of those vital, spiritual, lifegiving principles taught in the Christian community — even as long as I’ve been going to church.

During those years, while learning how to understand my own human spirit, plus the above-mentioned topics, my un-Christ-likeness wasn’t restricted to Nancy. My daughters also had been affected as offensively. That made any changes to my character very noticeable. As they all watched me change from my typical self, ignorant about all those topics mentioned above, as well as being an insensitive, spiritually ignorant (husband/father) man.

What I want to draw attention to is this: My children watched me change from a typical, ignorant, insensitive, spiritually ignorant guy who knew nothing of the lessons mentioned above and make the gradual transition to the goal of being like the Christ. And, of course they were all the judges of whether or not I was (and am) relating to them as the Christ would.

As a result, my first daughter asked me to disciple her husband, Tim. Then, as my granddaughter watched her dad (my daughter’s husband) change from a typical, insensitive, spiritually ignorant man, she asked me to disciple her fiancé for a year before they got married, followed by them asking if I would perform their wedding ceremony. Now I have 7 great-grandkids, and they’re also watching their dad and their granddad. I can’t wait for them to recognize what we’ve all been learning (and are still learning) from God’s inexhaustible words and learning how to make application within their lives too.

That’s what God, Tim and I, along with all of the staff here at Christ Quest Ministries want for every Christian husband and thereby his wife in the Christian world!

The title I am giving this presentation is: How winsome of God.

It’s a story from Exodus 3. It speaks of a time when Moses was walking through the wilderness, and God used some unique methods to get his attention and… convey a specific message to him.

First, as he’s walking along, Moses sees a bush burning. I imaging him doing what I would do… I’d stick my finger in my mouth, pull my wet finger out, and then hold it up in the air so the cold side of my finger would tell me which way the wind was blowing in my direction or not.

He did that to make sure he wasn’t going to get caught in a brush fire. That done, he knew he was safe — he realized he wasn’t in any danger.

But that wasn’t the end. He knew that burning bushes are usually completely consumed by the fire in just a short time.

But not this bush. It kept on burning and burning and burning.

His curiosity grabbed his attention. But there’s more. Another impossibility took place. As he cautiously approached the burning bush, he was totally caught off guard, it spoke to him.

Here’s what’s recorded there in Exodus 3:5 (AMPC), “God said, Do not come near; put your shoes off your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground.”

Here I go again with questions. Here’s why: Moses is walking in the desert with his sandals on. Both his sandals and his feet are dirty. So, why would God want him to take off his sandals?

What’s the difference, dirty sandals or dirty feet?

As I contemplated those questions, all of a sudden it dawned on me — God doesn’t want anything between Him and Moses — or us. Not even a thin slice of sandal leather.

Isn’t that touching!?!

The Bible is full of illustrations about how God wants a personal relationship with us. 

The Bible graphically illustrates that. Here’s why — after the fellowship between God (Who is Spirit) and Adam had to cease, because of the sin nature Adam acquired when He disobeyed God, it infected all mankind. And since God cannot fellowship with sin, and we all inherited a sin nature through Adam, no longer would Adam or we be able to have a Spirit-to-spirit relationship with God.

I picture God being deeply grieved about losing the ability to fellowship with His creation. So, God gave His Son, Jesus the Christ, as a Sacrifice for us, to save us sinners from an eternity in hell. Then, if we’ve accepted Jesus as our Savior, the Holy Spirit enters into our human spirit. That’s what allows us to be SAVED from hell. But that’s just the beginning of a new relationship with God through Jesus, His Son, the Christ — wherein He’s to become our Lord as well as our Savior.

Did you know that Christ is not Jesus’ last name. Rather, it’s His title. The word “Christ” comes from the Greek word christos meaning “anointed.” It’s the equivalent of the Hebrew word mashiach or Messiah. Therefore, you’ll notice when referring to Jesus, I use His title, “the Christ.” To be the Christ, or the Messiah, is to be “the anointed one of God.” As such, I must honor Him by using His title. 

John 1:41 (AMPC) tells us, “He (Andrew) first sought out and found his own brother Simon and said to him, We have found (discovered) the Messiah! —which translated is the Christ (the anointed one).” (Upright parenthesis mine.)

The Christ Himself validated the need to recognize that truth in John 13:19, (AMP),

“... I am He who I say I am the Christ, the Anointed, the Messiah.”

Have I mentioned becoming a member of the Christ Quest Institute, in our Fellow Warriors program?

Need I say more about God’s love for and His dedication to, re-establishing a relationship with us?

Have I mentioned, reading the Bible from cover-to-cover?  

Here’s another question:

Concerning your future in eternity — are you as familiar with your own human spirit as you are with your right thumb? If that’s not the case, that’s not good!