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"All That I Am Or Hope To Be I Owe To My Angel Mother." Abraham Lincoln
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In recognition of Mother's Day, the Utah Down Syndrome Foundation asked one of its experienced mothers, Laurel J Nebeker, to share what she has learned over the years from her daughter, Vanessa. Laurel not only does this beautifully, but she also includes subtle, yet valuable pieces of wisdom for new mothers. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, "A single conversation across the table with a wise man (woman) is better than ten years mere study of books." Here is what Laurel has learned.
I have an 18-year-old daughter with Down Syndrome, named Vanessa. She is a delightful, fun, smart person. She has strengths, abilities, and weaknesses, just like everyone else. Before she was born, I assumed that having Down syndrome was a hardship and that people with Down syndrome had poor life quality, that it was something to be pitied. But now, of course, I know how wrong I was in my thinking. From Vanessa, I have learned many things.
She has taught me about implicit trust and faith. When I tell her something, she believes it. It can be a religious teaching or something about life, but she always believes me, which is a joy and also a great responsibility. And because I have to explain things more simply to her, I have learned to take complicated issues and break them down to basics. She helps me see more clearly how things really are.
From her, I have learned to love more deeply, to look beyond what the person looks like, and to just love that person. She has a great ability to sense when someone is sad or hurting. She is immediately by that person's side, giving hugs or holding his or her hand.
One of the things that surprised me about Vanessa is her sense of humor. She is genuinely a funny person, and the sly look I see from her, she knows she's funny. At Christmas time, someone asked her if she had been 'naughty or nice.' She quickly replied, "I've been nice, but he's been naughty," pointing to her dad. She keeps us laughing and enjoying life.
She also just enjoys whatever she is doing. When she's watching TV, she sings along with the songs. While we're shopping, she dances down the aisles. When playing board games, and when she wins, she announces she is the "grand champion." She has taught me that things don't have to be complicated or expensive to enjoy life.
With eight children, I have learned that whatever child I have, there will be challenges and hard things, as well as the joys. Most people don't know the joy of having a child with Down syndrome in their lives, but I am one of the lucky ones.
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"Dear Mom"
Mother's Day 2020 Hallmark Commercial
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Hope, Health, and Happiness!
This month's "Love.Lift.Launch." highlight is not about a person, but an activity. The activity we call exercise. According to the Mayo Clinic, regular exercise leads to a healthier life. Exercise not only helps us control our weight, but it also helps to prevent or manage health problems such as cancer, strokes, Type 2 diabetes, arthritis, cardiovascular disease, cognitive function, and much more. In addition, exercise improves heart and lung health as it delivers oxygen and nutrients to your cardiovascular system, which gives you more energy. Physical exercise also "stimulates various brain chemicals that may leave you feeling happier, more relaxed, and less anxious."(1)
A Dose of Hope.
Exercise not only helps us feel healthier and happier but it also gives us hope. In January 2020, Parade magazine wrote an article about the mental benefits of exercise as described in the book, The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. According to Dr. McGonigal, there are "hope molecules--chemicals released by the muscles into the bloodstream during exercise to protect the brain from stress. Every time you move, you are giving yourself an intravenous dose of hope."(2)
Dr. McGonigal and the Mayo Clinic agree that regular exercise promotes hope, health, and happiness. They also agree that exercising in groups has its benefits. Dr. McGonigal specifically states, “We can take strength from seeing others’ efforts,” she says. “You get a stronger endorphin rush than when exercising alone, and there is even a specific feel-good effect of moving with others that psychologists call ‘collective joy.’ After being physically active with a group, people feel more optimistic, more hopeful, and more connected to others.”(3)
Taking Mighty Steps.
The Mayo Clinic and Dr. McGonigal's findings make a compelling argument for exercise, especially during these stressful times of COVID-19. As a result, UDSF is encouraging our community to join together in taking Mighty Steps for Hope, Health, and Happiness by participating in the following UDSF activities that promote exercise through walking, golfing, and biking.
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Footnotes
(1) https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389
(2) https://parade.com/979263/meganoneill/mental-benefits-of-exercise/
(3) https://parade.com/979263/meganoneill/mental-benefits-of-exercise/
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When Your Child Engages in Difficult Behavior
Some UDSF parents are experiencing behavioral issues with their children since the COVID-19 quarantine. The following article from the National Down Syndrome Congress's website by David Pitonyak, Ph.D., an expert on Positive Behavioral Support, offers some helpful tips.
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"Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Meet new people, make new friends, advocate for Down syndrome, and feel good all at the same time - Join UDSF's team of volunteers! Together we can "Love.Lift.Launch." individuals with Down syndrome and their families.
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Cold Stone Creamery is still open during COVID-19. Phone in your order and pick it up in the store. * This could change so call your local Cold Stone to verify.
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Coronavirus
UDSF views the health and safety of our community members as paramount. As a result, we will continually assess the situation and modify our activities as necessary. If UDSF cancels an event, registration fees will be refunded. The Mighty Steps victory laps will not be refunded, but changed to one statewide virtual event. For any questions, please contact info@udsf.org.
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Calvin was just what we needed!
Our family was excited after being introduced to a lawyer who offered to assist us in setting up our Wills and a Special Needs Trust. We would finally get everything in place to take care of our oldest child, Haley, who has Down syndrome.
Our first meeting with the lawyer went well, and in a timely manner we compiled all of the required information, then "the ball was in his court," as people say. Months passed without communication, so when we reached out to check the progress, we were given the excuse that the paralegal in charge of our account was getting married. Then over the next few months, the excuse was that they had moved offices.... TWO YEARS of excuses later, and we neither had a family Trust, nor Wills, nor a Special Needs Trust - nothing was completed! Unfortunately, we felt that this lawyer did not value our family, nor view us as important.
During that frustrating time, we were introduced to Calvin Curtis and his firm through UDSF. The process of setting up our will and trust through Calvin Curtis was simple, and completed in a matter of weeks! He was professional, personable, and made us feel important; we were a priority to him! Another huge relief was the cost because Mr. Curtis charged well under half of the cost our first lawyer intended to charge us!
For those considering a Will, a family Trust, and/or a Special Needs Trust, we personally suggest that you check out Calvin Curtis, and avoid the headache and stress we initially encountered through a different legal firm!
- Kaydee & Bob McMahon
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Calvin Curtis, Attorney at Law, is UDSF's Premier Sponsor. Mr. Curtis specializes in special needs estate planning. Click on the logo below to learn more.
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