Forgive
“Forgive your failures. Forgive your past mistakes.” The motivational speaker kept on that theme for several minutes, but those two sentences stayed with me for years. Sure, I thought, easy, huh? How do we forgive? It’s not like hitting the delete key on my computer.
That’s the way I thought back then, and I’ve made a slight shift since. It started when I read a quotation from Mohandas Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” The context was about forgiving those who had hurt us, but the words also hold true when it comes to self-forgiveness.
For example, last week I said something that, on reflection, was boasting. I realized it too late to apologize (and wasn’t sure what I’d say anyway). But I felt troubled for two days.
Awareness of pride has been a serious issue for the past three months. At our church each Sunday we have a time of silent confession. Pride seems always at the top of my list.
“Why now?” I asked God repeatedly.
Within minutes I thought of a triple answer. First, I was ready for my conscience (I prefer Holy Spirit) to convict me. Second, people who love me have probably been aware of that flaw and have loved me anyway. They didn’t decide to wait until I was perfect to accept me.
Third, for some weeks I’ve been praying and trying to accept others just as they are. It hit me: This is who I am. I need to start by embracing my flawed self. I can’t say I’m quite there, but I now understand that until I can accept, love, and forgive the man who lives inside me, I can’t fully do that for others.
