I am going to share another example wherein children have been, are being, affected by their father (spiritual leader) who has been growing in Christ-likeness.

But first, a small part of our joy that we experience is when we disciple husbands for literally becoming examples of Christ-likeness and see this result: If as Deuteronomy 5:9 says, the sins of the father will be visited upon the children to the third and fourth generation, then the Christ-like spiritual maturity of the father will be visited upon his children instead. That happens when he’s accepted the Christ as his personal Savior and then through the Christ Quest Institute classes with the Fellow Warrior mentoring program (Christ Quest Institute Plus), he learns how to become aware of his human spirit, which includes being emotionally functional, while also learning how to translate the events taking place in his life into lessons from God.

Here is the example. It comes from a couple where I discipled the husband for a number of years and now, he’s a student in the CQI+ Fellow Warriors class.

“Our son Benjamin (7) is truly maturing into a young man. The level of responsibility he’s asking to take on; the way he looks out for his sister, and the way he owns his mistakes is absolutely wonderful. He’s enjoying the 2nd grade, and his favorite subject is math (I honestly don't know why, because it doesn't come easy for him!). He’s making progress by leaps and bounds in reading, and delights in reading out of his children's Bible every day. He’s taken on the majority of the chicken chores and is happy to help whenever we’re doing something on the farm. He’s recently learned how to scramble eggs and asked to make my breakfast any chance he gets.

“Our daughter Madison (5) has also matured in some pretty fun ways this year. She’s just as eager to help in the garden and with the animals — is also wanting more responsibility. We recently had our “bottle baby” chicken get injured, requiring treatment, and a stay in the house. Madi took it on herself to check Nugget’s, food and water several times a day and was very helpful when we had to give Nugget medication. Madi is in first grade and also loves math. She’s making great strides in reading and truly enjoys it when she gets to read a story all by herself! Her tenacity and determination amaze me, and I continually marvel at all she is able to accomplish when she sets her mind on something.”

Nobody is saying these children don’t have to face life’s problems but imagine the peace, joy and advantage of having a father who’s setting an example of Christ-likeness.

Testimony Time:

I asked the question of the CQI Fellow Warriors Class, “What has a year in the Fellow Warriors group meant to you?” Here is a testimony from one of our Warriors:

“Here are just a few of the emotions I’ve experienced while participating in Christ Quest Ministries this past year. It’s really been hard work since I’ve made the commitment to die to myself in order to gain spiritual and relational growth.

Struggle, blessings, hope, painful honesty, security, disappointment, assurance, humility, togetherness, honesty, commonality, fearfulness, authenticity, anger, thankfulness, embarrassment, optimism, drained, valued.

“Through Ken and Tim’s discipleship, I have been learning how to use the emotions I experience every day to grow in my relationships, particularly with my family and especially with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am so very grateful for the opportunity to participate in this life-changing discipleship program.

Eric

Meridan, Idaho

The privilege of representing the Christ

About four months ago, Nancy damaged the nerve in her right arm, just under her shoulder, and she doesn’t know how. It continuously brought/brings her excruciating pain any time she moves it. It’s made it extremely difficult to get a full night’s sleep. Looking for relief she’s sought an enormously wide variety of solutions, including me bringing momentary relief by massaging her arm, shoulder, and her back where the pain has grown.

I called a cousin who’s an RN at a hospital who said it usually takes a year for it to heal.

I say all that to mention a recent situation. During these four months, while she hasn’t had a solid night’s sleep for the last four months, she’s slept in the guest bedroom — to keep from “bothering” me (she can’t stop being considerate). 

Last week, Thursday, Friday and Saturday (for those three days) she only got a total of three-hours of restless sleep.

In the morning when I went to see how she was doing, she was awake. As I watched her, I could tell she was really in a bad place. But I had to go get dressed for the day.

Let me mention again, I do not hear the voice of God, But I do get distinct impressions from Him. This morning that happened. It was: Go in and sit on the couch, have her sit on your lap, and just hold her in your arms. Be caring of her!

So, I went into the front room, sat on the couch, and invited her to sit on my lap. She angrily said, “I don’t want to sit on your lap!” I asked her if she would please do that. So, she did. I didn’t say a word. In a short while she became extremely angry at everything: me, our family, life, the ministry, even God. I didn’t say a word, just kept comforting her. This went on for about two hours. I didn’t say a word during all of that.

She seemed to finally be empty of all that angry, bitter, resentfulness, and became relaxed and peaceful. She thanked me and asked me to forgive her. I said, “Of course. It’s my responsibility to be here for you.” She said, “I shouldn’t dump all that garbage on you.” I replied, “In accordance with Matthew 11:28 (AMPC) where Jesus said, ‘Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your soul (your body and your spirit).’” 

That’s my God-given role. I’m also amazed at what obedience to God’s requirements for a husband can accomplish.

I was raised in orphanages. I didn’t know what a mother or father were, a husband or wife were, nor what a family was. I had a twin brother, but we were always separated from each other.

The second orphanage I was in was started and run by a Christian man, and it was compulsory that we attend church. We could go to any church we wanted as long as it was the Nazarene church. There, one Sunday morning, I was convicted through the sermon about accepting the Christ as my Savior when an elderly silver-haired gentleman asked me if I wanted to go forward and led me to the alter at the age of 13. I never saw that gentleman before or after that occasion.

Then in 1958, I met Nancy, the most beautiful woman in my life, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her — we were married in 1959. Not being a member of a family, all I understood of marriage was having a woman for a wife which I had successfully accomplished.

Being a normal guy — even as a Christian — I didn’t have a clue about understanding or caring for the heart (spirit) of a woman — my wife. Nor did I speak “Womanese”. So, after 13 years of operating as a typically ignorant male, where I was not benefitting from God’s plan for a wife; my normal-to-man, spiritually-damaging, offensiveness caused Nancy to be done with me. That’s what it took to wake me up and motivate me to find God’s answers to life so I could live with my wife in an understanding way, as God commands in I Peter 3:7.

My goal was to become a living illustration of Ephesians 5:25 through 27 — that every encounter Nancy had with me would be to her, as if it were an encounter with the Christ. And if it isn’t (since that’s what God requires of me), I’m falling short.

Christ Quest Ministries is designed to disciple men, husbands, for gaining that same goal.

Note, in I Peter 3:7, that God commands every husband to understand the mind of his wife as He does. Still husbands will easily admit that they don’t even comprehend their mind nor that they even have a spirit. Then too, not seeing the problem — there’s not an ounce of concern, distress, anxiety, or interest in pursuing it.

Men are living quandaries of the phrase, “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

Let me contradict that:

In 1845, John Franklin, an English sailor, was commissioned to lead the Franklin Expedition with its two ships and 129 sailors (3 pictured below) to discover an opening to Canada — from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean.

Part of the preparation was getting food supplies, which meant getting the cans to store food manufactured. Then, since winter was rapidly approaching, which would prevent their exploration, they needed to hire extra inexperienced laborers for help. They of course had never soldered cans.

Then in 1846, their ships got frozen in the water and couldn’t move. Remember too, there was no way of contacting anyone for help.

To add to the calamity, all 129 of the crew didn’t know that what they were doing to stay alive was actually killing them.

How’s that? Well, three of the graves of the crew that died had their grave sites recorded, so 150 years later their bodies were found, and their bodies were autopsied. The results of the non-experienced can makers became evident in that they all died of 90 times more than necessary to kill a person of lead poisoning. The can makers lack of soldering skills put so much solder on each can that the lead was touching the food. So, what they didn’t know not only could hurt them, it killed them! Because they didn’t know that what they were eating, the contaminated food was killing them.

And I’m watching thousands of marriages where husbands say they are Christians, who are supposed to be feasting on the Word of God — in order to become living illustrations of the Christ, slowly becoming spiritually lifeless — because they don’t speak “Womanese” like Jesus did/does!