JUNE 2026 UPDATE

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MEN APPLYING GRADUATE LEVEL CHRIST-LIKENESS

Getting God’s Thinking

 

With the goal of clarifying Scripture for God’s message to husbands, recently in one of our Fellow Warriors classes I presented a word study of Ephesians 5:33 (KJV). Here it is: “33 Nevertheless let every one of you (husbands) in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Parenthesis mine.)

I’m going to write Ephesians 5:33 (KJV) again without italicizing the entire verse in order to put the focus on one of the two words: “33 Nevertheless let every one of you (husbands) in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

 

The word see was italicized by the Greek scholars to let the reader know that it has been added (by man) supposedly for clarification. (Again, parenthesis mine.)

But that also means I can delete it and not be in trouble.

 

So, here goes: “33 Nevertheless let every one of you (husbands) in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife that she reverence her husband.”

 

The next word to examine is the word “that”. The word that, in Greek is hina; the English for the word hina is: as a result.

 

Now let’s read Ephesians 5:33 (KJV) again with the correct translation, “33 Nevertheless let every one of you (husbands) in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife as a result she reverences her husband.” If men understood the mind, heart, spirit of a woman when they got married, they would know that’s true.

 

Here’s the effect on Ed (who is a member of our Christ Quest Institute online course and participates in our Fellow Warriors meeting):

 

“Now that I’ve seen this, I recognize that so many of the other translations are even worse in how they handle that verse. The versions who use the wording “so let the” before husband and wife really seem to “need” the extra English words to accommodate the language that is being used in today’s English versions.  

 

“I do wonder how in the chronology of the development of the different versions, what led to the choices around that phrasing. (My answer is: unspiritual men, “scholars”, who wanted it to fit their own thinking.)

 

“Boy does that verse hurt my heart, my spirit when I hear it now and think how older men in my life had used that (including my own Father) as a means to press the requirement on women.  

 

“I have always felt that the spirit of Christ first loved, first sacrificed, first lived out truth. Loved unconditionally and fully.  I know I have not done that for my wife. How can I expect her to respect someone (me) who has failed her so many times? My goal now though is Christ-likeness.

 

“I have been listening to that lesson on Ephesians 5 for days now and it has become an important chapter in my life’s chapter right now.”

 

Thank you brother Ken. 

 

In Christ,

Ed

 

Then I will share with you Mark’s response (another CQI+/Fellow Warrior student):

 

“Let me open with the statement, this program works!  I have been married to Donna for 9 years.  I was led to Ken’s book, Discovering the Mind of a Woman, by a pastor.  I tried individual counseling with Ken on and off for a few years, but I just turned back to being regular (my natural self) after receiving “feedback” from Donna that I wasn’t being the husband that she needed and deserved.  Even though I read the book several times, I just wasn’t totally getting it.  That’s when I decided to enroll in the Christ Quest Institute and join the Fellow Warriors program. 

 

“One of the biblical precepts that Ken teaches is that a wife will respond to the husband when he cares for her spirit emotionally – that she has no choice but to respond to the husband’s emotional leadership because God has designed her to do so.  Ken is pretty smart, but I was a bit skeptical about this assertion.  Until… one weekend when things were pretty rough. Honestly, I was not living up to my commitment to God to be Christ-like to Donna.  I was being pretty selfish, but my biggest nemesis – defensiveness – raised its ugly head and proceeded to lead me by the nose.  It was bad – I left the house, pouting and feeling sorry for myself (again).   

 

“When I returned home, my sin nature and its defensiveness didn’t leave my side. I moped around the house feeling sorry for myself – and that’s what Donna was being punished with.  All this was during the time we were getting ready to go to church (!).  I thought “maybe Ken has something to say to me” so I put on one of the videos from the Christ Quest Institute while I got ready.   

 

“What happened next can only be attributed to the Holy Spirit’s care.  By “coincidence,” it was teaching about God’s requirement that I provide genuine spiritual care to my wife.  I learned more about God designing my wife to respond to and be affected by my positive and negative spiritual interactions with her.  I learned that it is in my power to affect my wife’s spirit – whether positive or negative — whether she or I even knew it. 

 

“I came out of the bathroom – only not angry and pouting, but instead I was smiling and laughing.  I told her how stupid I was while laughing at my stupidity.  Amazingly, my wife immediately joined me attitudinally.  Donna pleasantly started laughing too. And we both joked about how stupid I had been.  When Donna asked what had happened, I told her about the video I had just reviewed and how the Christ Quest Institute had the answers.  I recovered the weekend for us.”

 

PS – the video was in Lesson 32!

 

Mark

MY SPIRITUAL UMBRELLA/CUP RUNNETH OVER

Payback

 

I was training the grape vines inside the chicken pen where I felt a buzzing in front of my face. I thought it was a fly so I took a swat at it, which caused it to hit my lip half-way between the bottom of my nose and my top lip.

That’s when I found out it wasn’t a fly, but instead it was a bee. Now comes the payback — for swatting her, she stung me. The white dot is where I was working. Usually, I can walk right up to their hive, and they seem to know me well enough to ignore me. I still think it was the swat.

 

On another note, here’s a good God thing: Never having had a father, I was derailed from even thinking in the manner of asking a dad for anything. It became a habit for me to not ever operate in that realm. It never occurred to me to think in terms of asking a “dad” for help.

 

But notice the two white shelf brackets holding the shelf up for supporting the honey jar — that shelf needs to be removable though for more space for the bees to enter their doorway about two inches under the shelf and brackets. Y-e-a-r-s ago I saved those brackets. I found one of them lying on my workbench, but after looking “everywhere” I couldn’t find the other bracket. So, I did something remote for me, I asked my Dad for help. I said, “God, I need a dad’s help. I’ve looked everywhere for that shelf bracket, and it seems like it almost doesn’t even exist. Would you please help me find it?” The minute I finished asking my Dad, I found myself turning to my right and walking straight to the where the refrigerator was located. I looked down, and there it lay, on the floor, almost under a shelf.

 

Can you see the great big smile on my face as I recall, and remember me saying gratefully, “Thank you Dad”, along with expressing out loud my excitement, thankfulness, comfort, peace, joy, pleased, encouraged, closeness, and loved by Him for being so personal! 

I removed all of the drawers and the dishwasher along with the existing 60+ year-old cast-iron sink and its plumbing in order to remove the old countertop. Then fastened down the new countertop so I could install the new sink with its plumbing for the garbage disposal and dishwasher. Then, put all the drawers back in it.

 

The key to my car lost its computer programing, so it wouldn’t start our car. I had to take it to the dealership for reprogramming, which took three hours. I extracted the honey from our beehive frames, which took 4 hours. I had to make several trips to the hardware store to get new plumbing parts — probably a total of 3 hours. Then the installation, all while still discipling husbands during the days. All of this only took 5 days; but it keeps me out of mischief.

TO QUENCH YOUR SPIRITUAL THIRST

A 48-year-old, new insight

 

Here’s a sharp contrast that occurred to me as I read God’s words recorded in Genesis 3:16 (NIV). “To the woman he said, ‘I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. (and) your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’’” (Parenthesis mine.)

 

Maybe you’re like me, as long as I can remember, my focus was singularly on the part of that verse in Genesis 3:16 that said, “and he will rule over you”.

 

Please recall that I accepted the Christ as my Savior at 13. But it wasn’t until after I was married in 1959 followed by 20 to 25 years — wherein I had accepted the Christian church’s decree which was — the principle — on which the entire Christian church had established as God’s roll for the husband — he’s the Ruler, period!

 

I’m not arguing over whether or not a husband’s been assigned rulership in a marriage! 

 

But here’s what I had to recognized — that all of the contents of Genesis 3:16 were and still are — spoken by God as a curse against Eve (and every wife) as punishment for her having obtained a sin nature!

 

Wait just a minute! As a wife, her God ordained wifely desires (to receive value and acceptance) can only be gained by way of her husband? Yep, that’s God’s decree!

 

Does that stir any question about why God would make that her punishment?! But wait, that’s not all. There’s more to her punishment. Her husband is going to rule over her!

 

That’s more than a physical curse — it’s more importantly a curse against a wife’s spirit?

 

Why? Well… is there anyone who doesn’t know that all men will admit that they do not understand the mind, heart, or especially the spirit of a woman.

 

That being the case, imagine a Christian man/husband, who’s supposed to be a living example of the Christ to his wife (See Ephesians 5:25-27) and yet he will unashamedly admit that he doesn’t understand his wife (the mind of a woman). And still, he’s in charge of her life — deciding how he will oversee her — in whatever way he (as a man) might decide (by neglect, passivity, or domination) while her spirit remains uncared for. THAT… IS A CURSE!

 

Notice the spiritual difference between the life of Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God, in John 3:16 (NIV) “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Compare that to the requirement in which God has to command a husband in Ephesians 5:25 (AMP), “25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

 

And why are men falling short of Christ-likeness? Who does Revelation 12:10 reveal to us is the chief enemy — determined to destroy the spirits of men and thus cause severe emotional damage to the spirit of his wife — it’s the accuser of the brethren — Satan. Not accuser of the sisters… the brothers.

 

How does a woman get spiritually cared for if either of her spiritual leaders (dad or husband) from childhood on, either are constantly being attacked and being influenced by the accuser of the brethren, Satan?

 

That’s my discovery: I NEEDED to understand how Genesis 3:16 applied to me! Thanks, God, for startling me with this new perspective about 48 years ago.

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