Why is the word “hate” being used?
Let’s say the negative attitudes between a husband and his wife have grown to the point where she emphatically accuses him, to his face, of causing her to announce that you hate her!
You instantly become defensive: resentfully letting her know that she’s wrong and has falsely accused you!
Since you are disregarding and thus have rejected her feelings, does that mean it’s ok for her to disregard your feelings too? Or instead, since God is the only Creator and He created every emotion, feelings are legitimate because they are indeed being felt/experienced!
However, if a husband’s focus stays on whether or not she’s correct in believing he hates her, or his attitudes focus on himself, is he correct because he believes he doesn’t hate her — if so — they both lose.
To win, we need to change the focus of this conversation to a spirit-ual focus. That can only be done when that husband, as the spiritual leader examines himself to discover what he has done that causes her to feel hated?
A spiritual focus consists of a husband having been discipled to the point that he is spiritually mature enough to read and understand his own human spirit as well as that of his wife and children. That spiritual mature capacity allows a man’s spirit to relate to God’s spiritual document, the Bible, and provides God’s answers for life’s problems.
That’s what we teach and guide men on how to actually accomplish this in the Christ Quest Institute’s Fellow Warriors classes.
A conversation I can enjoy
Me and a guy I know were doing some serious talking and he said, “Me and my wife are constantly at a negative place with each other. We just can’t seem to get along. There is so much alienation, and it just keep getting worse”
It caused me to have flashbacks which prompted me to respond, “Yeah, my wife and I used to be there all the time too.”
He questions me and it almost sounds like a challenge, “Used to be!?”
“Yeah, that’s why we’re discipling men to also be able to use those words in the Fellow Warriors classes.”
You may find this hard to believe
Genesis 2:18 (NOG), tells us, “Then Yahweh Elohim said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.’”
So, if God is making something that is right for him, what is God wanting to remedy? His bad attitudes — that he is blind to — which are negatively affecting his marriage.
We men do not realize that God made wives to function like “metal detectors”. A metal detector’s function is: As it senses metal it starts alerting the individual with a small beep. However, until it’s fully exposed by the detector it will become louder and louder until the metal is found and removed.
The comparison is, when a woman gets married, she transmutes from being only a woman into being God’s helper for her husband. That’s what Genesis 2:18 is telling us — that she has been transmuted into being her husband’s Helper. Her design is exactly like that of a metal detector; she is designed to be alerted by her husband’s “metal”.
So, what’s the “metal” that God designed a wife to detect? And again, just like the metal detector has no choice about what it will detect — neither does a wife have a choice — she will be affected by her husband’s un-Christ-like behavior, with one in particular — attitudes. So, like the metal detector, she will start “beeping” with softer noises about his attitudes — but will get louder as his attitudes are not found and removed.
Now if he heeds her detection, that’s what God meant when He said, “I will make a helper who is right for him.”
