As Long as You’re Alive, Why Not Live?
After graduating from Nursing School in 2016, I immediately landed my dream job at the Institute of Living working with seniors. It was my intention to apply to graduate school for a master’s degree in nursing after two years of bedside nursing and go on to become a clinical therapist. Well, as they say, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” I quickly discovered that I no longer had the physical stamina to make it through two years of bedside nursing and, since that was a prerequisite to getting accepted for a master’s program, it appeared my dream had come to an end.
Then I remembered that God doesn’t close a door without opening a window. After all, my ultimate goal was to become a clinical therapist, not a nurse, so after licking my wounds, working part-time, and exploring my options, I enrolled in the master’s degree program for Social Work at Capella University and resumed my journey towards becoming a clinical psychologist. I am now more than halfway through the program and about to begin my internships in October. I also turned 60-years-young this year.
So, who in their right mind embarks on a new career in their 60s? Conventional thinking says that I should be ready to retire now, but I say why? I am anything but conventional. I am a happily divorced, single mother of two adult children, who is now discovering myself in ways that I never knew before. I am wiser, more confident, and I have 60 years of life experience to integrate with my formal education. I believe that through living, one gains a perspective about life, challenges, and practical applications that can’t be taught in a classroom or book. I can truly empathize with human frailty because I live with it. I have fallen and gotten back up, I’ve survived loss, and I have achieved despite my flaws and shortcomings. I have learned to accept me, love me, and live in my own skin.
While I was taking a literature class with Cynthia Murphy, she challenged the class to enter a poetry contest. I responded to that challenge, wrote a poem, entered it, and won third prize, and I was hooked. I won’t say it was my first poem ever, but other than a few poems I had written in childhood and a poem or two I had written for my ex-husband when we were dating, I never thought of myself as a poet or attempted to write poems to share with others. Now here I was in my late fifties writing, reciting, and winning contests. My experience working with the Goodwin Writer’s Guild and Poetry Club while studying nursing helped me to discover a whole new dimension of myself that I never knew existed. I even self-published a small book of 20 poems and sold 100 copies. Also, at Goodwin, I became president of the poetry club, (under Cynthia’s guidance) and a member of the Writer’s Guild. Working with Cynthia, Randy Laist, and Brian Dixon was very rewarding as they challenged me to incorporate new elements and styles into my poetry and short stories, (some of which were published in The Beacon).
During the COVID-19 shut down, I discovered that I am also pretty good at sketching and painting. I sat every morning watching Bob Ross paint on TV, admiring his work, and wishing I could do the same. I remembered that as a child I loved to draw, although I wasn’t what one would consider gifted. I had a few drawings that turned out well, so I went to the craft store and purchased a sketch pad and pencils. I then looked for images on the internet and challenged myself to draw some version of them that was recognizable and, before I knew it, I had filled up an entire sketch pad and was on to the next. I completed over 100 sketches. Most of them were in lead pencil and some in color, and most of them were works that I was proud of. Then I discovered that I could take pictures of the sketches on my phone and enhance them by adding color and other imagery.
Finally, I was ready to try my hand at painting. I started with watercolors, but I wasn’t able to achieve the depth that I was looking for, so I switched to acrylics and then again to oils. I went from cardboard to canvas sheets and on to actual canvases. Painting mostly landscapes, I fell in love and painted over 40 of them before my furlough was lifted and I returned to work. Between work and school, I have not had much time to indulge in my creative passions, but exploring and creating through writing, sketching, and painting has been incredible. It has given me confidence to pursue new things, and the understanding that I don’t have to stop dreaming and achieving because I am older, and my body has changed and doesn’t look or function the way it used to. I am still here, and my mind is focused and clear. I still have the ability to learn, and teach, and create, and share, and that makes me feel alive. I have made the choice to live my best life while I am alive. They can save the rocking chairs and nursing homes for someone else; I have things to do.
