I first came across this verse in the Liturgy of the Hours, the cycle of prayers and scripture prayed daily by the Church. The scripture translation I initially read differed a little: “Incline my heart according to your will, O God!” This struck me as the most perfect prayer. We are called to live our lives according to God’s will, not our own, so asking for God to help us direct our hearts toward Him reminds us of this.
This fall I found myself in a time of transition. I’d finished the PACE program at UP and no longer lived in an intentional community. It was up to me to find community and make a home for myself. But I felt conflicted – what I’d thought I wanted for the past few years was changing. The new friendships I was forming were challenging me, opening me up to new people and possibilities. I felt the inner conflict of not knowing what was coming next, not being able to plan every last detail of my life. I wanted to have control of my life’s trajectory and timeline. But in a variety of ways, God reminded me that that’s not my place. I can’t be in control of everything, not if I want to live my life for Him.
In this time of transition and change, this verse became my mantra, my constant prayer: “Direct my heart toward your testimonies and away from gain.” All those plans that I’d had, all the ways in which I wanted to control my life, were distracting me from my true calling: living according to God’s will. What good is earthly gain, if heavenly goodness is sacrificed? Our temporal gain is insignificant, superficial, when held up next to the glory of God’s will. I find myself constantly reminded—in little ways and in great—that our human wills are so often misguided. God’s will is all we need.
I had a conversation with a friend in which he spoke about the beauty of uniformity with God’s will: uniting, not merely conforming, our wills to God’s. Only this unity will bring us true peace and joy. In asking God to direct our hearts toward His testimonies and away from our own selfish desires, we are asking Him to unite our wills with His. This brings us closer to perfect unity with God, which is closer to the experience of Heaven.
Reflection by Rachel Polzer ’19
