How long should an engagement last? A recent study showed that a six-month engagement was the optimal time for a long-lasting marriage. On the other hand, in our church, we have couples who married after a few weeks whose marriages have lasted several decades.
Marriage customs differ in different cultures. Apparently, in the ancient world, a marriage was arranged between the groom’s representative and the family of the bride. Rebekah’s family agreed that God had directed the servant to them. Abraham’s servant gave them many gifts. But the next morning, they hesitated. Then they asked Rebekah and she agreed to go and marry Isaac sight unseen. She decided for herself whether she would marry Isaac. Then they accepted her decision and blessed her.
In the old wedding ceremonies, ministers often asked if there was any undue pressure on either party. Marriage is a covenant with God in the presence of witnesses. It must be entered freely with the consent of both persons. Still, in countries where marriages are arranged by parents, divorce rates are often very low.
Marriages take place in communities. Ideally, both families participate and give their blessing. This is God’s design. These same families should encourage the couple to stay together. The centrifugal forces tearing couples apart are very strong. Jesus and Paul both quoted Genesis, “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Jesus added, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).
