Dear Friend,

Reflection by Peter Phan

The Path to Golgotha

Though I have not yet had the opportunity to journey to the Holy Land, I have been there in a way, in my prayerful imagination.

As a seminarian, I have often longed to set foot in Golgotha. I desired to climb this mysterious and profound hill, prayerfully with Christ. I also wanted to see and feel the image of my Lord walking up the hill with the heavy Cross on his frail shoulders. Oh, what a strange sight was Golgotha that afternoon. It was the mountain where criminals were taken to be crucified -- yet my Lord, who was innocent, shared the same punishment, the same nails, and the same Cross as sinners and outcasts from society.

I imagine that the sky that evening over Golgotha must have been dark and gray when my Innocent Lord was nailed to the Cross. Both the heavens and the earth must have been silent and sorrowful for the sake of my Lord who was about to die a humiliating death. I can imagine with my heart’s eye how the darkness of Golgotha was filled with an invisible light of my Lord's love and mercy for humanity.

One way that my Lord’s love was expressed was through the gift of His Mother to John; through this action, Christ gave His most wonderful and beloved Mother to all of humanity. Look at our Lord! Even though He was dying and had barely any breath left, he remembered humanity. He gave us His most lovely Mother because He did not want us to be orphans. He knew that his Mother would protect and defend all people on this earthly pilgrimage.

Furthermore, with only a few breaths left, He did not forget to grant forgiveness to the good thief. But, oh my God, after this what more could you give to sinful humanity? You sacrificed your life, O Lord, what more? Yet, no one expected the outpouring of Blood and Water that gushed forth from Your most Sacred Heart when It was pierced by the soldier’s lance. Your holy water and Blood purify, transform, and enable humanity to share in the divine life of the Trinity. Who can comprehend the love You have shown, Lord? Oh, the summit of Golgotha is so odd but wonderful.

Though I have never been able to set foot on Golgotha,  I continue to desire to go there to experience God’s love for me and for all humanity in a special way. However, after much contemplation and self-reflection, I have realized that, in a way, I stand on Golgotha hill every day. My Lord could see me, as well as every person who ever lived, while He hung on the Cross. However, I do not know who I most resemble in the crowd. Am I like John, or like the good thief? Or am I one of those individuals who is nailing Jesus to the Cross?  

The Lord knows my weaknesses and the faults; I offend Him daily. But because of  His love, He continues to carry the Cross in silence to Golgotha in order to redeem me from my sins. Yet, I am often indifferent to His suffering.

Lord, I am privileged to stand on the summit of Golgotha with You. Lord, wake me up to realize Your love for me and humanity. Help me to always run to You, and to bathe myself in the water and the Blood which flow from Your Merciful Heart.

On Golgotha, Christ’s love was victorious over sin and death, and saved me from my sins. Lord Jesus Christ, I love You!

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Peter Phan is a Third Theology year seminarian for the Diocese of Metuchen.