The summer months were once my favorite time of the year, especially as a child. I would look forward to swimming, camping, and just being free of school and homework. College reshaped how I felt about summer. I no longer looked forward to embracing the heat or getting a tan on my skin. Instead, I tried to stay inside and keep cool.
Even though I changed my habits from grade school to postgrad life, I still set aside the time this summer to attend UP’s daily Mass. It was a place that brought me comfort as a student and I hoped it would do the same as an alum. But even when I went to Mass, I still felt as though I was lacking something. All summer, I fought with myself to understand why I wasn’t happy. This void had occurred every summer after my first year of college. I used to think it was because I was away from my home away from home, The Bluff. Though I now lived close by and Mass was a touchpoint that felt familiar, I knew I needed something more in my relationship with God.
A few weeks ago, I finally realized what I was missing. I attended Eucharistic Adoration during Campus Ministry’s Leaven Immersion on a warm Tuesday evening at the end of July. Sitting before Jesus in the consecrated Eucharist, I felt like the dawn had finally come. I was brought back to the peace I had been searching for.
When I attended Eucharistic Adoration, I realized that sitting in silence before the consecrated Eucharist is my prayer life. Here I feel at peace. This weekly ritual is something I feel deeply called to continue; I can’t break this habit. Some habits are not good for us, but I’m glad that my spirit longs for this one. Summer might have felt as though it were filled with darkness, but my yearning for God’s mercy led me to the healing light found in Eucharistic Adoration. I hope to continue finding peace through this practice of prayer. In each new stage of life, I hope each of us finds a way to be open to learning what our spirit longs for – and through God’s mercy, I hope that we find the light even in the darkest moments.
Reflection by Alyx Cardenas '18
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