April Mama of the Month
Happy April, Mommas!
Wanna know what I made my kids for dinner the day I was asked to be the Momma of the Month? Frozen waffles and dill pickles. True story. But as a mother of four boys with a husband that travels five days a week, sometimes waffles and pickles has to be good enough…
I married Mac when I was 23. By 30, we had four boys, including my 3 year old identical twins. I could write about how exhausting four boys is, or how I went into pre-term labor twice with the twins, who almost didn’t make it. I could write about how our favorite way to bond as a family is to hop in the car for a random road trip. Or how I have never used my degree from college, because I have always been a homemaker. I could give you fun facts like how my husband launched Amazon Pantry on the East Coast (you’re welcome, ladies.) I could tell you funny stories like the time I turned on Paw Patrol out of habit and watched half an episode before I realized I was by myself. But, really what I want to dig into is how Strides gave me a lifeline during some tough times.
My husband worked for Amazon and we had everything we could dream of; a beautiful house, healthy kids, strong friendships. What I didn’t know was underneath that picturesque life on the Jersey Shore, my bond with Mac was hurting. Corporate culture sucked the life out of us and we had no idea it was even happening. I told him it was time to move back to my hometown of Norfolk, so we could find a better way forward for us and our darling boys.
We literally packed up a U-Haul of our most important possessions and drove our kids from NJ to VA the summer of 2017. The boys enjoyed the adventure down south, but I knew we were embarking on the most critical phase of our life to date. We didn’t know what would happen to us, but we knew the best place to figure it out was Larchmont, where we had a village waiting.
The next year was the most difficult of my life, but I had a constant - FIT4MOM. I remember one day, it took every ounce of mental energy to walk to Bluestone for a workout. Exhausted from worry and worn-out from no sleep, I sobbed the entire way, tears behind my sunglasses. When I arrived, the only person there was the instructor, Francine. How could I get through a (Francine!) workout, crying and worried about my family, if it was just me and her? I was plotting to tell her I had a headache and needed to go home, when she greeted me with her signature “Hey, Sunshine!” I needed those words, at that exact moment in my life. I stayed and that was good enough...
On days I didn’t know if I could heal again, I had my workout. When I skipped a few weeks, because I was bogged down with anxiety, instructors checked in on me. On nights when I felt like I was the only mom going through changes in her relationship, someone at Mom’s Night Out said, “I get it.”
Francine often wears a shirt to class that says “trust the process.” FIT4MOM anchored me through my process, while I found my way forward with my wonderful husband and four beautiful kiddos. We healed. This village kept me right where I needed to be - laughing after a sleepless night and sweating away worry. It was that best friend you could call, even after not speaking for a while.
While all of you anchored me, I was able to make my gutsy move back to Virginia worth it; Mac and I found a work-life balance that allowed our marriage to be stronger than ever. We worked hard at our bond and became better parents for it. In March, we bought our forever home a few streets closer to Bluestone, where so much of my healing began; I picture an amazing Mom’s Night Out at our new house filled with meals I didn’t cook!!!
The "process" can be challenging, but I am a stronger mother and spouse for it. I have an amazing catalogue of life-experience to share with other moms that walk up to a workout hiding tears, or filled with anxiety, or celebrating a good night’s sleep. I can tell them that, just like my gourmet meal of waffles and pickles, showing up is good enough, taking a break is good enough, letting this village anchor you is good enough and that process will make you great.
-Whitney
