Self Care for Parent Caregivers

 

 

Susanna Peace Lovell

As an alumni parent (my daughter, Arizona, graduated from Cheerful Helpers in 2014) and full-time caregiver, I discovered early on that I would not be useful to anyone if I was running on empty.

 

I’m sure we have all heard about putting our oxygen masks on “first” in order to support those around us. And, I also know how challenging it is to put this practice into actual practice. But, here’s what I have learned over the years and what I do know for sure: I will be functioning at my very best when I learn to regard self-care as a non-negotiable in my life. Facts!

 

In other words, I will be able to GIVE to others from a place of OVERFLOW, once my own needs are met (and then some).

 

As a life coach and advocate for disability families, I often coach my clients (AND myself) on my 7 top tips for self-care. Here’s a link to my guidebook and a summary:

 

1)    Speak Your Truth

2)    Just say No

3)    Release the GUILT

4)    Receive Help

5)    Let Go of Expectations

6)    Get Comfortable with Being                   Uncomfortable

7)    Find Your Joy!

 

In short, I find that investing in our own self-care is the quickest portal to abundance! I also believe that every circumstance, every situation – every life experience – is an opportunity for us to expand, transform and experience growth as an individual. Everything that happens to us and with us is, in fact, a gift that is FOR us.

 

When Arizona was first diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, anxiety and more, I felt anxious. I fell into a debilitating depression. I felt overwhelmed and alone; hopeless and defeated! And, even though it was important for me to FEEL my big feelings, express and release them and sit in the darkness as long as I needed to, I soon began to realize that this was an opportunity for me to dive into a compassion for myself that I had never experienced before.

 

And as I felt the warmth of this compassion, I began to realize that it was non-negotiable for me to engage in self-care, true SOUL care for myself. I am grateful for all of the teachings and learnings that are available to us, in every situation and every moment.

OT: The Art of Making Kids an Offer They [Don’t Want] to Refuse

 

Michael Lyons, OTR/L

“It just looks like you’re playing with them”. GOOD. I aim to be undetectable. A ninja of therapeutic fun. A covert courier of healthful play. A crafty cultivator of joy. A friendly, skillful guide to the FUNderworld—a place where kids improve their fine and gross motor skills, strength, balance, sensory regulation, social, cognitive, and visual perceptual skills, all unbeknownst to them. And to the profession’s detriment, sometimes to the parents and fellow professionals as well. 

 

Occupational Therapists, in the most basic sense, help people do the things they need to do or want to do, but are having trouble with because of an illness, injury, developmental delay, or other physical, mental, emotional, and/or cognitive impairment. With adults in hospital settings, that often looks like returning to the basic things, like getting in and out of bed, getting dressed, getting to the bathroom, bathing—all the things one has to do every day to care of oneself and go home safely, with as little assist as possible (note: cultural differences do apply).  In the school setting, it looks like improving participation in things kids need (and hopefully, want) to do—like play, write, draw, cut, paste, glue, and be an active, creative kid, just like their peers.   

 

At a wonderfully interdisciplinary school such as Cheerful Helpers, you’ll see me honing in on fine/gross motor strength and coordination, sensory regulation, and visual spatial skills in particular. My favorite tool is the platform swing, which provides opportunities for kids to strengthen their core, their grip strength, and increase tolerance of vestibular input—all things that could translate to improved ability to sit upright at their desk, practice their letter of the week, and partake in the morning movement sessions. But you’ll also see me finding the perfect animal walk to practice for core and upper body strength, the just-right-challenge ball game for visual motor skills, and delightfully messy tabletop activities to improve dexterity and tolerance of tactile input. 

 

Sometimes sessions are 1on1, which are good times to get a more “intensive” workout in these areas.  And some sessions are groups, which allow tailored peer interaction, the engagement of the social skills of sharing and teamwork, and some therapeutic peer pressure to help kids push beyond their own limitations (“if all your friends jumped [onto the crash pad], would YOU?!”).

 

Flexibility is the key for me. If a kid feels like they’re being dragged to “therapy” and finds an activity boring—they simply won’t do it!  I can’t exactly explain the benefits of therapy to a 5-year-old at Cheerful Helpers the same way I can to a 65-year-old in the hospital. I must be flexible, facilitative, and FUN. And if all it looks like to the kid and to onlookers is that we’re having fun together, I’m doing my job right.

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