After several months of back-and-forth, up and down, and not a small number of sleepless nights, it was a wise friend’s counsel that helped me to see things clearly. I was focusing only on myself. My own abilities. My own need to control. It was a one-man show. And each time I was falling short.
I thought of this recent experience in my own life as I was praying over today’s readings. And really the whole season of Advent. Today’s Gospel from Saint Matthew recalls the experience of the centurion encountering Jesus. And that well known, often spoken line “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof.” The centurion has his focus on Jesus, not on himself. He doesn’t gloss over his own unworthiness. But he trusts the Lord‘s power to restore, to heal, to bring to life.
Where are you and I looking? Where do we focus our attention? On what or on whom do we fix our eyes? These are important, dare I say crucial questions to ask ourselves as we set out on our Advent journey. Do we want to go somewhere or achieve something or make a change in our lives or grow closer to the Lord? Are these days just a period of navel gazing? Focusing on ourselves?
It seems to me that the Advent season, the beginning of a new Church year, is our opportunity, our grace filled invitation not to focus on where we fall short or how little we’ve become and made of ourselves. But rather to focus on the One who entered our human experience, not to bring us down, but to lift us up. Not to make us feel inadequate, but to draw us into communion with the living God.
