Thursday, December 15, 2022
- Reflection by Julie Higgs
Commanded Love
John 13:34-35
34I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. 35By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
So very many wedding couples have chosen these verses—or at least verse 34—as one of their wedding texts. My mom and my stepdad included them in their wedding. I began their wedding sermon by reminding them when it was that Jesus had spoken these words. It was on the night Judas betrayed him, the disciples fell asleep on him, the guards arrested him, the disciples ran away from him, Peter denied him, etc. My mom and my stepdad were paying careful attention, nodding solemnly as I went on and on.
And then I said, “really, I thought you’d be more hopeful about your marriage!”
A parishioner had warned me not to go there, but I did. Thankfully it had the intended effect. Laughter shot out of them, tears of mirth in my mom’s eyes, and if they hadn’t been sitting down, they probably would have fallen to the floor.
And then I talked about the irony … and the absolute appropriateness … of their choosing to hear these particular words from Jesus on their wedding day. Love was in the air. They were completely smitten with one another. It was a day where their love for each other and the love of their families and the congregation for them was palpable. The irony, of course, was that love was practically oozing from their pores. The need for a commandment to love one another seemed laughable.
And yet. They’d both had long first marriages. They knew that early love and lasting love are different things. They knew that love is work. They knew that sometimes love would require them to grit their teeth and love one another in spite of something. They knew that they needed both the commandment and their own promises for love to last.
And they both knew they had received that kind of love from Christ. They knew that there were times when loving is easy and times when it’s difficult. And that’s probably why Jesus commanded the disciples—and commands us—to love. For the days when it doesn’t come easily. For the days when we are so angry or so hurt that we can’t “feel” love for another. And for the days when we need to cling desperately to the reality of Christ’s love for us—Christ’s unconditional love for us—Christ’s life-giving love. May Advent remind you—and me—of this everlasting love for us.