Reflection by Dianne M. Traflet, J.D., S.T.D.
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Prayer of St. John, the Beloved Disciple
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Dear Jesus, my heart is breaking; I cannot bear to see you in your agony.
I stand with your dear Mother; we hear your every cry, and we listen to your every word.
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So many memories flood my mind. I remember the time I was fishing with Peter and James, and you told us to “cast out into the deep.” We had such a large miraculous catch that we feared sinking. You assured us not to be afraid. (Lk. 5:1-11)
Oh, Jesus, I feel I am sinking now under the weight of such immense sorrow; I can hear you telling me again: “Do not be afraid.” (Lk. 5:10)
I remember casting aside fear and leaving everything to follow you. I listened to you and learned from you. You called us friends and taught us to love. (Jn. 15:14)
Oh Jesus, teach me to love in this place of hatred.
I remember not so long ago climbing another mountain--Mount Tabor; I was stunned to see you--your face “shone like the sun and [your] clothes became white as light.” (Mt. 17:1-2)
Oh Jesus, your clothes now are being divided among soldiers, (Jn 19:23-24), and your face is bruised, bloodied, and swollen.
I keep remembering the voice I heard on Mount Tabor: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” (Mt. 17:5)
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Yes, Jesus, our Father must be well-pleased with you. I heard you last night in the Garden, praying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Lk. 22:42)
Oh, my Jesus, I saw you sweating drops like blood. Even in your torment, you submitted to your Father, and with your every agonizing breath crucified to a cross, you are fulfilling the will of your Father.
I, too, will follow God’s will; I must listen to you. I will continue to do so, with my whole heart.
It was only yesterday that I listened intently as you said:
“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (Jn. 15:13)
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Oh, Jesus, in these tormenting hours, I am witnessing the greatest love; you are giving your life for us, your friends.
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I now hear you cry out, “Father, forgive them.” (Lk. 23:34) I am in awe of your mercy. But I remember that you taught us how to pray to “Our Father;” I begin to pray for those in need of forgiveness. And with every fiber of my being, I pray: “Deliver us from the evil one.” (Mt. 6:13)
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Dear Jesus, here on Golgotha, I stand with Mary, and I look up to heaven, praying as you taught us:
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Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not in temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.
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Dianne M. Traflet, J.D., S.T.D., Associate Dean for Graduate Studies and Administration and Assistant Professor of Pastoral Theology, earned a J.D. from Seton Hall University School of Law, an M.A. in Catholic Theology and Pastoral Ministry from The Institute of Advanced Studies of Catholic Doctrine, St. John's University, and an S.T.L. and an S.T.D. from the Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas (The Angelicum), Rome. Dr. Traflet is a key leader in the Center for Diaconal Formation, and she gives numerous lectures, retreats, and days of recollection, including some specific to wives of deacons and deacon candidates. She is the author of Edith Stein: A Spiritual Portrait (Pauline Media, 2008).
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