Sideways Anger
Most of us struggle with anger on some level. Despite the obvious reasons for being irate, some of us don't even know we're incensed. I can speak for myself. I had no awareness that I was an angry person. Sometimes the ire popped out—temporarily—but I made no connection that I was an infuriated individual.
If we're angry, it will come out—directly or indirectly. A good way to look at our anger level is to eavesdrop on our own conversations. What do we say about other people? Do we blame the government? Others at work? Those expressions are what I call the sideways anger.
They flow out in unexpected and unrecognized forms such as sarcasm, criticism, speaking our piece, or "just being frank."
About a year after I started my healing journey, I finally admitted my anger. Part of my acknowledgment was because I lived among conservative Christians who mistakenly thought it was sinful to be angry. And I believe they were wrong. The apostle Paul wrote, "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you're still angry" (Ephesians 4:26 TNIV).
Merely to admit my outrage was a release. I had held it inside for a long time, feeling that if I let go I might kill someone. When I confessed that to my best friend, David, he said, "You're more than 50 years old and you haven't killed anyone yet." That was a marvelous release for me.
