Start early
No matter a child’s age or gender, don’t dismiss examples of insensitivity or exclusion as being developmentally appropriate. “Aggressive behavior can show up in kids as early as the preschool years,” says Dr. Leff. “While all kids have moments when they don’t share their toys or tell a child they’re not inviting them to a birthday party, if your child repeatedly engages in these behaviors, this could be a sign of early relational aggression,” says Dr. Leff. Help teach your child empathy by asking, “How would you feel if your friend didn’t share his toys?”
Be respectful
Model respectful behavior at home. “Kids can be influenced by how a temper is expressed at home, in their peer group, and in the media,” says Dr. Leff. Parents should be careful not to lash out at each other or other members of the family. They can also demonstrate respect and caring for others by creating a sensitive home environment that values and encourages inclusiveness.
Cultivate self-control
Teach your child the importance of pushing the pause button if she feels hurt or angry. This is especially true if your child tends to be impulsive. “Kids need to develop problem-solving skills and an important part of doing that is learning to take a deep breath and trying to look at the situation calmly and differently,” says Dr. Leff. Help children learn to count to 10 silently, or imagine a happy place like a beach, in order to allow them to slow down so they can look at a situation before reacting. You can also help your child learn to ask herself questions about the situation so she can see it from the other person’s perspective instead of making assumptions.
