How long does it take to grieve the loss of a loved one? I met today with the great family of a great man. We remember him with great gladness, but we mourn over his loss. Each person grieves uniquely. Different cultures have different customs. In Egypt, the embalming process took forty days. This may explain why we still find intact sarcophagi from the country of Egypt. They had their own process. In addition, when Jacob, Joseph’s dad died, the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days. Isn’t that amazing? Jacob’s time there was comparatively short. But they mourned him for over two months. Then Joseph took him back to the promised land for burial in the cave where Jacob’s dad, mom, and wife Leah were buried.
Grief is hard enough. But it is worse when mixed with guilt. When we were kids, my brothers and I built a volcano out of clay and then we put baking soda and vinegar in it to make it erupt. It worked as a visual in a school project. Guilt and grief mix into a concoction more combustible than gasoline and fire. I speak from experience. When my seminary mentor Virtus Gideon made a way for me to study at Southwestern for my Ph. D., Baylor made a better offer. I could stay at my church and not have to drive a thousand miles a week any longer. The decision was easier for Melanie than for me. Dr. Gideon was not happy with my decision. Within the year, he died suddenly, and my grief was compounded greatly by my guilt in disappointing him. I remember it as an almost unbearable time. Only in worship at Southwestern did I find any relief. Dr. Gideon had taught me about grace. He was not angry at me, but I was angry at myself.
When Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers feared retribution. Their own guilt over mistreating Joseph, combined with grief over their father’s death led them to tell Joseph their dad wanted him to forgive them. Joseph wept. The brothers offered to be his slaves. Joseph not only forgave them, but saw the whole story through the lens of Providence. Though they were responsible for their unkindness to him, God had superintended their evil intent for good to save many lives. He promised to provide for them and their children and spoke kindly to them. One way we know we have actually forgiven those who mistreat us is when we speak kindly to them and about them. By removing their guilt, Joseph allowed them all to focus on the grief of losing their father. This was a priceless gift. Who needs to hear us say, “I forgive you,” today? Let’s get to it. There is no time to waste.
