Hello friends! Have you ever heard someone say…“We need to talk.” Yikes! 😬
Maybe your stomach suddenly feels funny. Maybe your heart beats a little faster. You might wonder, “What did I do?” Usually, when someone says those words, it means that something isn't quite right. Maybe someone's feelings were hurt. Maybe two friends had an argument. Maybe someone said or did something that wasn't kind. Arguments and disagreements happen to everyone… even followers of Jesus! Jesus knew that his followers would sometimes hurt one another or disagree. Instead of telling us to ignore the problem, pretend everything is fine, or talk about the person behind their back, Jesus gives us a better way.
Jesus Says… Talk It Out. In Matthew 18, Jesus teaches us what to do when something goes wrong between people. Here are some of the things we discover in reading this passage.
Be Brave and Talk Honestly
If someone hurts you, Jesus says to talk with that person. That can be scary! But sometimes the bravest thing we can do is say… “When that happened, my feelings were hurt.” Or… “I think we need to talk about what happened.” Talking honestly can help us understand each other and begin to heal a friendship. And we can’t forget that sometimes we are the ones who make a mistake. When someone tells us that we hurt them, we can listen instead of becoming angry or defensive. We can say to that person… “I'm sorry. I didn't realize I hurt you.” That’s what I think growing in God's love looks like.
Don't Turn It Into Gossip
Jesus also teaches us to protect people's dignity. If your friend makes a mistake, that doesn't mean you should tell everyone at school, post about it online, or whisper about it with your other friends. Gossip can make a small problem become a HUGE one. Instead, try to talk privately and kindly. Ask yourself… “Would I want someone telling everyone about my mistake?” Probably not! So let's treat other people the way we would want to be treated.
Tell the Truth
Sometimes two people remember an argument differently. One person might say, “You did this!” The other might say, “No, I didn’t!” When that happens, it can help to have a trusted person listen and help everyone understand what really happened. Jesus reminds us that truth matters. We don't need to exaggerate, make things up, or change the story to make ourselves look better. We can be honest, even when the truth is difficult.
Remember… We Belong Together
Jesus describes his followers as a community… like a family. That means we're connected to one another. Think about your body. Your hands, feet, eyes, ears, and heart all have different jobs, but they belong to the same body. The church is like that, too. We are different people, but we belong together. And the best part is that Jesus says… “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” That means when we gather together in love, Jesus is with us.
Sometimes Things Don't Get Fixed Right Away
Sometimes, even after we talk and try our best, a friendship or relationship may still be broken. That can be sad. Jesus doesn't tell us to celebrate when people become separated from the community. Instead, we should care about them and hope that things can become better someday. When someone is hurting or far away, we can pray for them.
Leave the Door Open
Jesus talks about people who might become outsiders. But look at how Jesus treated people who were considered outsiders. He showed them kindness. He listened to them. He helped them. He loved them. So even when someone has made a big mistake, we should never decide that they are worthless or that God doesn't love them. God's love is bigger than our mistakes. We can protect ourselves and others when something is wrong, while still leaving room for forgiveness, healing, and a new beginning.
Our world can sometimes feel like a place where everyone is arguing. People disagree about all kinds of things. Friends get upset with friends. Families disagree. People online say hurtful things to one another. Jesus shows us another way…He invites us to…
Tell the truth
Listen carefully
Speak kindly
Protect one another's dignity
Say “I'm sorry” when we are wrong
Forgive when we can
Work toward peace
Remember that EVERYONE is loved by God… and that includes you! So this week, ask yourself… Have I ever needed to say, “We need to talk”? Is there someone I need to listen to? Is there someone I need to apologize to? How can I help bring peace to my family, school, church, or friendship? Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the courage to make things right.
I’m looking forward to being at Bella Quinn this Sunday… Hope to see you there!
Grace and Peace… Melissa
