October Newsletter
2025

Dear Friends of the Center for Civil Discourse,

I am currently participating in an immersive 9-day international training on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offered by the The Center for Nonviolent Communication, and I am excited to share some of what I have been learning.

Takeaway #1: A basic principle of NVC is that people’s feelings emerge in direct relationship to how fully their needs are met.

The more completely someone’s needs are met, the more likely they will experience positive feelings. In response to needs that are not being nourished or met, more negative feelings arise. A powerful NVC practice is to ask about underlying needs because (1) it offers a way to be directly responsive to the other person in that moment; (2) it humanizes the conversation; and (3) asking earnest questions about needs communicates care and invites the conversation to continue.

Takeaway #2: By practicing the principles of Nonviolent Communication, people can lower the temperature of contentious conversations.

If one person does not seem interested in de-escalating the conversation, the dynamics of the conversation can still positively shift from the other person person using NVC strategies and employing NVC principles. 

Takeaway #3: People can most authentically offer empathy to others when their own need for empathy has been met.

Identifying the underlying needs of one’s emotions can help a person tend to their needs, thus freeing up energy for and focus on the other person’s empathy needs. When people’s needs for empathy are met, people are more likely to be curious about each other, and this can spark connection.

When conversations get messy and tangled, pausing to breathe before speaking and identifying one’s needs can change the course of the conversation into a productive exchange of mutual meaning-making. The list of Feelings & Needs published by the Center for Nonviolent Communication is a helpful resource for beginning this important dialogue work.

I hope that as we each enter our next conversation, we reflect on our own feelings and needs. Consider how you are showing up to the conversation. What feelings are most prominent for you? What are your hopes for the conversation? What do you need in the conversation?

Awareness of emotions and needs allows our conversations with one another to be genuine. Against the backdrop of a divided nation, a focus on feelings and needs may seem rather trivial. But social trust is built one relationship at a time and one conversation at a time. 

Wishing you peace and wellness,

Lisa

Families & Politics

Workshop Recap

Photos by Tamela Spicer

 

 This workshop offered skills and strategies for having conversations with people in your family even when politics differ. The Center thanks the national bridge-building organization, Braver Angels, for their facilitation.

 

Recreational Therapy Students Explore the Power of Civil Discourse

The Center’s Civil Discourse Network features community and university-based members who support our mission to help GVSU students and area neighbors develop the skills to engage in respectful dialogue and problem-solving across differences. These skills are clearly relevant for students pursuing careers in Recreational Therapy. The need for comfort and confidence in building relationships with diverse clients and their families led Dawn DeVries to invite Network member Stan Greene to her Issues and Trends class for a conversation about civil discourse.

Contributed by: Stan Greene, Civil Discourse Network Member

The Center for Civil Discourse offers workshops and trainings for community organizations, area businesses, and professional groups, as well as for students, staff, and faculty at Grand Valley.

We’re doing things a bit differently this year. In lieu of the Center’s annual Civil Discourse Symposium, this Fall we are piloting a statewide storytelling program called Michigan Listens.

Tabling in Kirkhof

We had so much fun sharing donuts, cider, and fun swag as we talked with students about the center--who we are, what we do, and where we are located.

As people visited the table, many talked with us about the stress they feel over the uptick in political violence. We listened and are planning a campus conversation series for next term that will offer opportunities for deeper conversation and connection.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by!

The Conversation Corner is a designated space in the newsletter for collective conversation. Let's be in conversation!

QUESTION: What if the other person doesn't listen, and they insist that they are right? Is it better to walk away or are there things to do to make the other person listen?

RESPONSE: Thank you for your question. When someone appears to not be listening, it is often because they do not feel heard, seen, or understood.

Civil Discourse Podcast

We are excited to be developing a student produced and hosted civil discourse podcast!

As an antidote to societal division, the monthly podcast series seeks to connect people through listening and offer a landing place for those interested in healing conversations.

We are gathering ideas for episodes now!

 

What topics interest you?

What would you like to hear conversations about?

Have you seen Cecil (pronounced See-sul) around campus?

You might find Cecil studying in the library, hanging out with friends in Kirkhof, or grabbing a coffee at the Blue Connection.

Where is your favorite spot on campus? Cecil is looking for new places to explore.

Connect with us on social media to share a description or photo of your favorite campus spot and be placed in a drawing for a Cecil tshirt!

In our next newsletter, we will share some of Cecil's campus adventures!

We are glad to invite you to engage with us on our new LinkedIn page where we will be sharing upcoming events, updates, resources and articles.

Please, check our our most recent post here! And be sure to give us a follow!

 

Check out our resources for bridge-building and engaging in conversations across difference. Have a resource to share? Let us know what we could add to the list!

 

Ex Officio
Shelley Padnos: Center Founder
Carol Sarosik: Center Founder
Mark Schaub: Dean, Brooks College of Interdisciplinary Studies

Advisory Council
Jessica Collette: Founder & CEO of Float Above Ventures
Alex Priebe: Assistant Director Digital Engagement & Communications                                        James Rademaker: General Manager, WGVU Public Media                                                      Faye Richardson-Green: Committed Community Steward
Milt Rowher: Community member (retired business leader)
Tamela Spicer: Founder & Principal at The Intentional Catalyst                                           Aaron Turner: Vice President of Philanthropy, Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park
Britlynn Veliz: Civil Discourse Student Communications Coordinator
Greg Warsen: Graduate Program Director & Faculty, Educational Leadership  

Give to support bridge-building programs for students...

And be part of depolarizing our communities.

Padnos/Sarosik Center for Civil Discourse
LMH Suite 167
Office: (616) 331-8044
Email: civildiscourse@gvsu.edu