April Newsletter
2025

Dear Friends of the Center for Civil Discourse,

Recently, I was reminded of the fragility of relationships.

The experience moved me to reflect upon the value of relationships and to think about what it takes for relationships to weather tension and struggle.

 

I have been considering the role of dialogue when relationships are tested by conflict.

While there are dialogues from which people need to disengage for their own emotional well-being and not every conversation can happen constructively in each given moment, other conversations, while difficult, are still important to the relationship.

Whether facilitating dialogue with students in the classroom or leading a civil discourse training in the community, I have found three things to be true:

1. Many people have relationships with family and friends that are strained, ruptured, or somehow wounded.

2. When people feel hurt, it can be challenging to remain curious about the other person(s).

3. Dialogue can offer a healing path forward, if people abide by mutually determined parameters.

Consider the role of curiosity in sustaining relationships through dialogue.

Curiosity communicates, “I am interested in what you have to say,” but it is admittedly hard to feel curious when one is feeling hurt and shut down. Sometimes, people turn their feelings inward and disengage; sometimes, there are angry outbursts with shouting matches; and at other times, people are passive aggressive with each other. While these responses might make emotional sense, they shut down inclinations to be genuinely curious.

So, how can one be curious when one is feeling vulnerable and protective?

Inner work: Preparing for the conversation

It is useful to consider grounding strategies that sooth the senses. People often settle their mind through settling their body. This settling can help one navigate relationship tensions with more mental clarity and emotional regulation which, in turn, can help conversations be more constructive and productive.

Relational work: Setting goals for the conversation

Being clear about goals for the conversation helps keep the conversation on a productive path. What do you hope comes from this conversation? Consider this question for yourself and for the other person.

This is an opportunity to be curious.

There are a multitude of dialogue tools and strategies that one can use to help navigate challenging conversations, and I invite an exploration of the center’s recommended resources

Over the summer, while the center takes an academic break, try looking for opportunities to be curious in your conversations. When a conversation gets difficult, consider being curious and asking questions to better understand. Perhaps it is useful to remember what the dialogue research shows: When someone shows that they are curious and willing to listen, the other person is more likely to be curious and willing to listen in return.

And that begins a conversation.

Wishing you peace and wellness,

Lisa

The Conversation Corner is a designated space for collective conversation.

Thank you for starting a conversation!

Submitted Question:

What are some important considerations about timing when initiating a difficult, likely to be polarizing, conversation with someone?

Response:

Timing can certainly impact how a conversation unfolds. Here are a few questions to help determine if now is the right time for the conversation:

Are you ready?  Is your breathing steady and heart rate calm? Are you free from distractions and able to be fully present? Have you identified your goals for the conversation? Are you tired, hungry, or feeling depleted? If you feel on edge, it is likely that it will seep into the conversation. Focus on relaxing your body first.

Are they ready? Is the other person free from distractions? When you read their body language, do you note defensiveness? Do they have time constraints to consider? Begin by asking if talking now works for them and be ready to put the conversation on hold if it does not.

We look forward to your next question!

The Civil Discourse Team

When I first joined the Center for Civil Discourse as a student fellow, I had little understanding of what civil discourse truly meant. I needed to learn not only the definition but also how to engage in civil discourse. Initially, it was difficult, especially since I tend to be driven by my emotions. However, I soon realized that I didn’t have to sacrifice my thoughts or feelings to participate in civil discourse. I learned that it involves having intentional dialogue that respects multiple realities within a conversation. Simply by listening to other perspectives, I was engaging in civil discourse.

Through my experiences at the Center, I have learned to incorporate civil discourse into various aspects of my life, including my classes, work, and friendships. This has provided me with a new perspective. While I still maintain my feelings and beliefs, I now make a conscious effort to consider the emotions and thoughts of others. This has helped me dive deeper into my interactions with others to build more meaningful connections.

Working at the Center has been a great opportunity for growth. I’m excited to continue developing my skills and contributing to the promotion of civil discourse. The journey has been rewarding, and I look forward to furthering my understanding and application of civil discourse!

We are excited to be in the beginning phases of developing a student produced and hosted civil discourse podcast. Featuring inspiring stories of people bridging differences through dialogue, the podcast will spotlight local community members, campus leaders, and national figures.

As an antidote to societal division, the monthly podcast series seeks to connect  people through listening and offer a landing place for those interested in healing conversations.

It won't be too long before you'll be able to listen to the first episode! Be a part of our podcast journey by contributing your support today.

Muskegon: A Community Conversation is a collaborative initiative designed to spark meaningful dialogue, foster mutual understanding, and strengthen the fabric of our community—one conversation at a time.

This nine-event series, hosted across Muskegon County, offers safe, inclusive spaces for neighbors to come together, listen, share, and grow through open dialogue. Each set of conversations will focus on a unique theme aimed at helping individuals connect more deeply—with each other, and with the issues that shape our daily lives.

The first set of the series, Beyond Polarization: Making Conversations Possible, explores how we can have better conversations across differences—not by debating or persuading but by listening, reflecting, and speaking with empathy.

Rooted in curiosity and respect, each event is free and open to all. Whether joining us to strengthen your communication skills, reconnect with others, or simply be heard, we welcome you to the table.

Let's build a stronger Muskegon through conversation.

Depolarizing Ourselves

May 29 @ 5:30 pm - 7:30 pm EDT

White Lake Community Library

Skills for Disagreeing Better

June 3 @ 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm EDT

Hackley Public Library

Families & Politics

June 4 @ 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm EDT

MADL Norton Shores Branch

It has been wonderful partnering with the team at WGVU Public Media! The center is honored to support the station's  commitment to constructive and productive conversations by facilitating a 5-month civil discourse training series.

The series, Navigating Critical Conversations, offers civil discourse concepts, tools, and strategies for strengthening communication patterns in the workplace.

The Center for Civil Discourse offers workshops and trainings for community organizations, area businesses, and professional groups, as well as for students, staff, and faculty at Grand Valley.

 

 

Looking for a 1-credit course?

Check out IDS 150 for a hands-on class where you pick the topics! 

 

 

 

Or a 3-credit course?

Consider IDS 350 for a deeper dive into dialogue and bridging divides.

Cecil, our new mascot, is wrapping up the school year and ready to dive into summer fun! 

Like many of us, Cecil has to work over the summer, but they hope to carve out time for the beach, a few hikes, maybe some time on the lake, and, of course, long hours of laughter with friends. 

Always ready for a conversation, Cecil invites you to stay in touch.

What are you doing this summer? Send Cecil snapshots of your summer fun through our social media!

Check out our resources for bridge-building and engaging in conversations across difference. Have a resource to share? Let us know what we could add to the list!

We get stronger, not weaker, by engaging with ideas and people we disagree with, says Zachary R. Wood. In an important talk about finding common ground, Wood makes the case that we can build empathy and gain understanding by engaging tactfully and thoughtfully with controversial ideas and unfamiliar perspectives. "Tuning out opposing viewpoints doesn't make them go away," Wood says. "To achieve progress in the face of adversity, we need a genuine commitment to gaining a deeper understanding of humanity."

Ex Officio
Shelley Padnos: Center Founder
Carol Sarosik: Center Founder
Mark Schaub: Dean, Brooks College of Interdisciplinary Studies

Advisory Council
Brian Bowdle: Associate Professor of Psychology
Stan Green: Executive Coach                                                                                                                      Alex Priebe: Assistant Director Digital Engagement & Communications
Milt Rowher: Community member (retired business leader)
Tamela Spicer: Founder & Principal at The Intentional Catalyst
Britlynn Veliz: Civil Discourse Student Fellow
Greg Warsen: Graduate Program Director & Faculty, Educational Leadership  

Thank you to Advisory Council members Brian Bowdle and Stan Green for their service. Their contributions to the center's work and support of the center's mission to deepen community through inclusive dialogue has been invaluable. As they wrap up their time on the council, please join me in wishing them well.

Padnos/Sarosik Center for Civil Discourse
LMH Suite 167
Office: (616) 331-8044
Email: civildiscourse@gvsu.edu