These insults are from an era before the English language boiled down to four-letter words.
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“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr (1913–1996, American writer and theatre critic)
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill (1874–1965, British statesman, soldier, and writer)
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow (1857–1938, American lawyer)
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (1897–1962, American writer) about Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961, American novelist, short-story writer, and journalist)
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway about William Faulkner
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas (1900–1966, American teacher and classical scholar)
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain (1835–1910, American writer, humourist, and essayist)
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde (1854–1900, Irish poet and playwright)
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” –George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950, Irish playwright and political activist) to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop (born 1951, American singer-songwriter, actor, and guitarist)
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright (1811–1889, British politician)
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb (1876–1944, American author, humourist, and editor)
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson (1709–1784, English poet, playwright, essayist, editor, and lexicographer)
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating (born 1944, former prime minister of Australia)
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker (1919–1986, American actor)
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West (1893–1980, American actress, singer, comedian, screenwriter, and playwright)
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844–1912, Scottish poet, novelist, and literary critic)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder (1906–2002, Austrian-born filmmaker and screenwriter)
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx (1890–1977, American comedian, actor, writer, and singer)
The exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor. She said, “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865, 16th president of the United States)
“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard (1910–1973, American comedian and actor)
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Brackett Reed (1893–1902, American attorney, author, and politician)
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” – James Reston (1909–1995, American journalist) about Richard Nixon
